[ that smile takes his breath away. he thought, with how much push and pull there had been, that this might be fraught, maybe even tense. that hojoon would have to be coaxed into relaxing. into being calm. but he looks... gorgeous, and fine, and like he's happy to be doing this with him.
it's a relief. it makes junsu happy too. whatever conflict present in hojoon, he wants to soothe away. ]
You're beautiful, Joon.
[ his hands slide back down, making a grab for his ass, squeezing. he makes little sounds into every kiss, until he's giving his bottom lip a little nip. ]
[hojoon snorts softly, hands roaming over junsu through his shirt. it's not that he thinks of himself as unattractive, but if he's beautiful, what must junsu be? gorgeous? breathtaking? ethereal?
it all sounds about right.
joon rocks his hips against junsu's when he squeezes his ass. it feels good, it all feels good, and it's more obvious than ever that joon likes it. but the dare itself is a reminder of what's happening, how far this is going.
he hesitates.
and then decides that he can't deny junsu's request. he doesn't want to, he wants him to see him, it might be the most open he's been with him. hojoon keeps his eyes on him as he reaches down between them, unfastening his jeans before moving back to slide them down his hips, off his legs, unbothered by his own nudity.]
[ the hesitation is noted. junsu holds his breath. then the hesitation is gone, and he breathes out, watching, eyeing, not able to take his eyes off of him. he could wake up any second. blink, and hojoon would be gone. breathe in, and hojoon would slam the door in his face again.
but right now he's naked, and so beautiful, and junsu's eyes trail over his body. ]
I spoke too soon. You're ethereal, baby.
[ he takes off his own shirt, then crawls over to joon, putting a hand on his chest and gently guiding him back, lips meeting lips. the kiss is slow but heated. his lips trail to his chin, his neck, hand dragging down to his stomach as he kisses a path down his chest. ]
Let me take care of you? [ he says, half a request to be allowed to do so. ]
[this isn't a dream. but at some point junsu will fall asleep, and he will wake up, and hojoon will be gone as if it was.
that's then, this is now.
joon knows that he's beautiful. it's not even that he can alter his appearance. his kind are made to be beautiful, to appeal to humans and not frighten then. but junsu's compliment is still special to him, makes him want to sprawl and arch and put himself more on display for the human's gaze.
he's more relaxed when junsu kisses him now, more natural. joon's hands are touching his chest, mouth yielding to him, even if there's a soft whine of protest when junsu takes it away. he soon realizes where junsu is going when he kisses lower than his neck. joon blinks, looking down at him with that conflicted look again, wanting but with something holding him back.]
Your mouth is for speaking wishes and prayers. You don't have to do that for me. [joon catches his bottom lip between this teeth for a moment.] Unless doing it is one of your wishes. Then...
[hojoon trails off, tongue soothing his bottom lip before he nods.]
[ junsu is frozen while johoon battles with his thoughts, as he speaks. he doesn't kiss lower, waiting for permission. not wanting to push. the balance here is precarious, and he doesn't want to upset it. if joon has limits, junsu will give him space to establish them.
he practically melts when he gets a positive response, smiling and burying his nose against joon's chest, kissing down, nosing at his belly and nipping at him with his teeth before kissing the spot, as joon had done to his neck earlier. ]
It's one of my wishes.
[ he looks up at him from where he is, lips pressing a kiss to a hip bone, then the other. ]
Want to taste you. [ he starts with touch at first, hand smoothing up and down his thigh before he touches his cock, a gentle stroke as his fingers curl around it. his tongue comes next, from base to tip, eyes closing and making a soft sound. he likes doing this, and he kind of thought joon would never really want him, but it's actually happening, and he needs to do... so good.
he needs to be amazing and make joon forget all the things trapping him.
he takes him into his mouth, sinking down on him all the way. ]
[it's one of my wishes. the next few breaths that joon takes are slightly broken, shaky exhales and hitched inhales. it's okay for him to do this. hojoon shouts it back at the voices that are telling him otherwise. it's okay for him to do this, because junsu wishes it. and while he's not a wish granter, per se, he's definitely not one to turn humans aside.
maybe he would be strong enough, if it was anyone but junsu.
at some point, the go board gets nudged. the stones fall a few at a time, sounding like rain as they hit the floor. it's a nice sound, so hojoon's illusions automatically kick in to make it sound like a rain shower outside of swamp house. hojoon is only concerned about what's inside of it, inside of this room and on this bed. he makes a sound when junsu takes him into his mouth.]
Take your time. [joon whispers, his voice already a little wrecked. he remembers what junsu said at the game, about his gag reflex. but he wants both of them to enjoy this to the fullest, a little part of him already fearing, knowing that this should never happen again. he wants to memorize everything about how beautiful the human is. finally, a new good memory to treasure and give him strength.] You're incredible. You're the most wonderful thing in this world and I will burn to ash anyone who ever tells you otherwise.
[joon's words are dangerous, but his touch is gentle. he slides his fingers through his hair, petting before they curl. he leans his head back, arching a little when junsu's tongue touches a certain spot on his cock. he laughs shakily.]
And holy fuck, that mouth on you is heaven on earth.
[ they're very dangerous words, because they're making their way into junsu's chest, in his heart, and he'll remember them. it means something, this, what hojoon is saying. it makes him feel so good, and like he matters, and this time because he's human. it's the first time in a long time he touches a person like this for the first time while they know he isn't magical. hojoon knows what he is and this is what he thinks of him.
makes his heart seize up. makes him whisper, hojoon heavy and hot against his tongue, the taste of him filling his mouth.
he slows down, having been told to take his time, taking it to mean joon wants something slower and more careful. he looks at him with his lips wrapped around him, slowly moving over him before licking over the tip.
every action that causes a reaction he repeats, tongue over the same spots, hands on his hips, moaning and sinking back down all the way here and there, for a second or two. just to make hojoon feel it, to make him know he can take all of him, to look at him with his nose pressed against his skin and swallow. ]
[the difference between this, what's real and what's memory, what's illusion. it's overwhelming. joon can barely believe that it's happening, that he let it happen-
he squeezes his eyes shut at that thought. but junsu is there when he opens them again, looking at him with dark eyes and a perfectly red mouth stretched around him. it punches the oxygen out of him, blowing out the few flames that were still dancing on his skin.
that's when he starts to struggle with his control, wanting to move, not daring when he wants the control to be junsu's. the urge to squirm moves just beneath his skin, making him grip junsu's hair and the mattress respectively.]
I'm almost-
[the sentence is interrupted by a moan and a little jump in his body. joon's hand slides along the other's cheek and jaw, cupping it, thumb brushing the corner of his mouth to feel how well he takes him. hojoon takes a few more harsh breaths, but a tremble has taken over his body and it's not letting him go. something in him has to give.]
Fuck, I'm gonna - move back, Junsu-
[because coming in his mouth would be the final nail in joon's coffin.]
[ there's still something holding joon back. junsu wants to tell him it's okay, to talk him through it, to speak softly and make him feel okay about taking this, about having it. but he doesn't want to pull off of him. not only is it addicting to feel him like this, against his tongue, hard and hot in his mouth.
but he's scared if he stops hojoon will let the walls come back up.
joon's touch on his face makes him want to cry. he can feel him getting closer, his body trembling, but the touch is gentle, heated but still soft.
he doesn't move away. he said he wanted to taste him, and he meant it. he only moans, swallows around him again, brings a hand beneath to cup at him at the same time. hoping he can to draw an explosive orgasm out of joon with his touch, his tongue, his mouth, the way he closes his eyes but then looks up again to find hojoon's. his free hand pats around and finds his, linking their fingers together. it's okay, let go, i've got you. that's what he's trying to say. ]
[he can't breathe. joon's entire body is tense, and he is still fighting it, but junsu's mouth is still hot and perfect around him. it makes him weak, he's sorry...whoever he's apologizing to, he's so sorry.
he whines, and it's not a sound that's entirely human. joon grits his teeth against it, like this isn't the most pleasure he's felt in so many months.
but it is. junsu looks him in the eyes and it sets him on fire - maybe not literally, maybe not the way his powers can. this is a human's power alone, making him feel this kind of heat. he squeezes junsu's fingers, holding tightly to his hand as he comes, a sudden rush that makes him cry out and curl inward, around junsu.]
[ junsu moans around him some more when he comes, just to hear him sound like this, to feel his fingers hold onto him. he pulls off only once joon is done, licking at his lips to make sure nothing escaped, that he got everything. he's breathless, hard, but all he wants is to curl up around hojoon. this feels significant, and he may not know much, but he knows enough that getting here with joon was a bit of a challenge.
he was let in, and the aftermath of that can be as hard as getting to this point.
he noses at joon's hip, then lets go of his hand to card fingers through his hair, soothing. he can say the things he couldn't say before, with his voice a little wrecked and a little hoarse. ]
You're okay. I got you. [ he really wants to kiss him. he settles close to him, eyes falling to his lips. ]
[joon murmurs the words. junsu can never say that he doesn't have a power ever again, because he does. he's proof of it.
he stays hunched over for a few seconds more, shoulders rising and falling as he catches his breath. his bangs are damp with sweat, and they stick to his forehead when he tries to push them out of his eyes.
his hand freezes when he looks up and sees junsu from between a few strands. hojoon looks suddenly startled. he looks at junsu, looking flushed and hungry for more, the scattered go stones on the floor, his own clothing cast aside.
[ junsu flushes happily, ducking his head and biting his lip so he's not grinning too wide. it's such a compliment right now. he made it past hojoon's defenses. he really is a beast tamer, though he'd never think of him as a beast.
he laughs softly. ]
Nothing yet, except turn me on. [ he helps him brush aside sweaty bangs. ] It's okay. You don't have to do anything.
[ he cups joon's cheek, kisses the other since he's not sure a kiss on the mouth will be welcome. he could ask, but joon looks thrown, so he's giving him a bit of space to breathe. proving he means his words. if this is all joon wants, that's okay. ]
[junsu looks so happy. it breaks joon's heart, because he already knows. he knows that this shouldn't have happened. he knows that nights exactly like this dulled and distracted him before. he closes his eyes, fingers sliding along the underside of the human's arms. he's drawn to him, falls towards junsu slowly until he finds his mouth first. the kiss is slow too, but not chaste.
joon wishes. he would give anything to keep this pain one-sided. he would hurt forever in junsu's place. but he's done it now. his selfishness is going to hurt someone that his heart longs for, just like it did with haneul.]
I want to.
[he can put it off for this one night. hojoon's hands reach for the front of junsu's pants.]
I want to.
[joon repeats the words while nodding. he wants to, and that's the problem. but he can't just leave him like this, taking without giving back. without letting him use his own brand of magic a little bit more.]
[ the kiss has him sighing and groaning against hojoon's mouth, keeping the kiss slow but far from chaste himself, his hand at joon's neck. it's wonderful and hot and still he thinks if this is all, it's fine.
but it's not all. his breath hitches. to hear joon say this, with the sound of rain behind them, the taste of him, his lips still buzzing with it, it makes him want to jump into his arms. hojoon wants to touch him and make him feel good. to junsu, that means this is more than just being attracted to him and wanting some release. this is hojoon wanting to make him feel good and caring about him.
he nods. he trusts hojoon with this. ]
T-Touch me?
[ he presses his forehead against hojoon's hand fumbling to help him get his pants off, pushing at them and kicking them away. ]
[hojoon smiles at the request, a little fire burning in his eyes as he looks into junsu's. it's so simple. he really could've asked for anything, there's nothing joon would've denied him. but junsu wants to be touched, and that sounds good to hojoon too.]
Where, here?
[he trails his fingers along junsu's shoulders with a little grin, dropping his touch to the back of his elbow. he kisses junsu again before repeating the question, hands roaming over random parts of his body.
it started as a tease. but joon quickly starts to love the feeling of junsu's skin under his hands. he remembers the name of every bone in a human's body. muscles...most of the muscles, he's forgotten.]
Here?
[he whispers it again as he slides his hand against the soft skin of junsu's inner thigh, watching as it makes his legs slide open a little more for him. until his hand lifts and he's rubbing his palm against the underside of his cock. the human body really is something.]
[ in spite of being extremely turned on and very much wanting hojoon's touch now that he's expressed wanting to give junsu that, he finds himself amused. smiling, huffing breathless laughter. ]
Should've — should've known you'd be a tease.
[ it feels like a bit more than that, though, like each touch is appreciative, exploring. it doesn't make junsu feel like a weak human being touched like he's fragile. just like he's important, and he likes that. he wants to be special to people. he feels special now.
his breathing hitches when joon's palm touches him, hips lifting to meet the contact, his head dropping back. ]
Don't stop. [ he says as he wraps his arms around joon's shoulders, keeping him close. it's a bit like he's saying don't go, beneath it all. he doesn't want to feel those doors close again after this. he doesn't want that wall to return. ]
[joon smiles and kisses him again. he's in no hurry to rush this, even less so now. he watches junsu's every reaction, how open he is, how beautiful he is. he deserves better than someone like hojoon, who puts up walls and keeps himself chained to the past. but his heart ties itself into knots at the thought of giving him up.
he slides his hand along junsu's neck when he leans his head back, just feeling the pulse of his life. his other is still on his cock, a drag of fingers before he wraps his hand around him loosely. his strokes are slow, light, sometimes pausing to let junsu push up through his fist.]
Like I'm going to miss making and seeing you come. [joon's hand slides down his chest, pausing to tease his nipple.] I might have to do it twice.
[ junsu thinks the next time they do this, he wants to see hojoon smile like that plenty. he wants to make him laugh as much as he wants to make him feel good. even through the haze of pleasure, the heat under his skin causing his skin to flush read and his hair to stick to his temples, he wants that. ]
I like it. S'hot.
[ junsu's fingers bury in his hair as he arches up into joon's fist whenever given the chance to do so, breathing loud and moaning, whispering joon's name. ]
You're hot. [ he's staring at him now, how he touches his nipple and teases him and makes his breathing hitch again. he's a tease, and playful, and it's kind of perfect and lovely and hotter than it should be. he catches joon's lips, body tensing, coiling as he tries to arch up faster, to get him to move his hand tighter and faster. ]
[in truth, hojoon is a lot of good things. at times, mischievous, but also playful. he's sensual and protective, brave and loyal.
it's just that he's forgotten that he's those things, or can be. instead he's turned bitter and heartbroken, pessimistic and jealous. if you don't tend to the flowers, weeds will easily grow in their place.
his lips fall open when junsu moans his name. his breaths aren't as heavy, but he times them with the human's, moving a little with him too. his kiss is hungrier this time, messier. he can feel junsu growing more frantic, but he tightens his fist without moving it up and down too much. he has his reasons why he wants junsu to fuck through it, why he wants him to lift.
his free hand goes between his cheeks, finger brushing against his hole to tease him there too, feeling how he wants to open up and let him inside. joon kisses him harder one more time before moving to his neck. he wants to hear his sounds, wants to hear his name in junsu's wrecked voice as he comes.]
[ junsu sees these things. he does. it's what's so appealing about him, much more than the careful, distant blankness he falls back on. and he's so happy to see these things here, now. it's like hojoon has finally opened up instead of simply glancing over a cracked door.
he's gasping into the kiss but returning it with the same hungry, filthy neediness.
that's all it takes, the touch of his fingers as he fucks up into his hand, the suggestion there. he almost wants to tell hojoon to stop and fuck him, then, but he's too close, tipping over the edge already.
he comes with his fingers fisted in hojoon's hair and a cry of his name, said hoarse and croaked and like he's the one thing keeping him together at the moment. his body tenses and releases as he spills over joon's hand, chest heaving for air. ]
[junsu's so hard in his fist. he can feel the heat of him, the pulse. all the signs of his body tell joon when it's happening. he draws back a little, mouth open, eyes bright at the sound of his name on the other's tongue. that alone would be enough to make him hard again.
but it affects more than just his body. it feels like his ribs are rattling with every beat of his heart, like it's demanding that joon free it. junsu needs to catch his breath, so he just brushes his lips along his cheekbone before he lays him back. just watching him softly as he recovers and comes back down to him.]
Is this for the bite earlier? [hojoon holds up his hand, junsu's release rolling over it.] I mark you, you mark me?
[joon turns his hand before any can drip off, looking into junsu's eyes as he licks across it.]
[ watching joon lick the mess from his hand has him shuddering, making a little sound again. it's hot, even as he comes down from his orgasm, even as sweat cools at his temples. he doesn't take his eyes off of hojoon. smiles, sated and happy and fond, at the softness in his voice.
he's happy. hojoon let him in. ]
Feeling great. Really — really great.
[ he touches hojoon's face, smiling so much his eyes look closed. he leans up, wanting a smooch, but can't quite make it without moving more of his body, flops back down. his bottom lip juts out. ]
[like he needed to say "please" at all. joon leans over him, kissing him slowly and feeling his heart swell and ache at the same time.
he settles over him, not resting the entirety of his weight on to of junsu. he spends a few minutes doing just this, kissing him without expectation to build to anything this time. kissing because he likes kissing him so much, and junsu wants him to, and hojoon never wants to stop.]
I really like you Junsu. [this is something he wants to tell him. this is something he needs to make clear, not realizing that it will lead to more confusion later.] I like you because you're human. I like you because you're you.
[ this is... so nice. and hojoon is still there. it warms his heart, it reassures him, it lulls him into thinking things between them are going to change now. he kisses joon slow and soft and he memorizes everyone, so happy to get this when he thought it wouldn't really happen.
kisses from hojoon, who seems happy to be doing this. who seems to want to keep kissing him.
junsu's cheeks are flushed, his hand on hojoon's neck as he slowly breathes out. his heart is thudding. it's nice. there's warmth in his stomach. he loves that feeling with someone, at the start of things. being liked because he's human, because he's who he is, that hasn't happened to him in so long.
it's precious. this is special. ]
I like you too, Hojoon. [ he whispers, eyes on his. ] A lot. [ he wrinkles his nose, bumping it against hojoon's. ] Stay with me tonight?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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it's a relief. it makes junsu happy too. whatever conflict present in hojoon, he wants to soothe away. ]
You're beautiful, Joon.
[ his hands slide back down, making a grab for his ass, squeezing. he makes little sounds into every kiss, until he's giving his bottom lip a little nip. ]
Dare you to take your pants off.
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[hojoon snorts softly, hands roaming over junsu through his shirt. it's not that he thinks of himself as unattractive, but if he's beautiful, what must junsu be? gorgeous? breathtaking? ethereal?
it all sounds about right.
joon rocks his hips against junsu's when he squeezes his ass. it feels good, it all feels good, and it's more obvious than ever that joon likes it. but the dare itself is a reminder of what's happening, how far this is going.
he hesitates.
and then decides that he can't deny junsu's request. he doesn't want to, he wants him to see him, it might be the most open he's been with him. hojoon keeps his eyes on him as he reaches down between them, unfastening his jeans before moving back to slide them down his hips, off his legs, unbothered by his own nudity.]
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but right now he's naked, and so beautiful, and junsu's eyes trail over his body. ]
I spoke too soon. You're ethereal, baby.
[ he takes off his own shirt, then crawls over to joon, putting a hand on his chest and gently guiding him back, lips meeting lips. the kiss is slow but heated. his lips trail to his chin, his neck, hand dragging down to his stomach as he kisses a path down his chest. ]
Let me take care of you? [ he says, half a request to be allowed to do so. ]
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that's then, this is now.
joon knows that he's beautiful. it's not even that he can alter his appearance. his kind are made to be beautiful, to appeal to humans and not frighten then. but junsu's compliment is still special to him, makes him want to sprawl and arch and put himself more on display for the human's gaze.
he's more relaxed when junsu kisses him now, more natural. joon's hands are touching his chest, mouth yielding to him, even if there's a soft whine of protest when junsu takes it away. he soon realizes where junsu is going when he kisses lower than his neck. joon blinks, looking down at him with that conflicted look again, wanting but with something holding him back.]
Your mouth is for speaking wishes and prayers. You don't have to do that for me. [joon catches his bottom lip between this teeth for a moment.] Unless doing it is one of your wishes. Then...
[hojoon trails off, tongue soothing his bottom lip before he nods.]
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he practically melts when he gets a positive response, smiling and burying his nose against joon's chest, kissing down, nosing at his belly and nipping at him with his teeth before kissing the spot, as joon had done to his neck earlier. ]
It's one of my wishes.
[ he looks up at him from where he is, lips pressing a kiss to a hip bone, then the other. ]
Want to taste you. [ he starts with touch at first, hand smoothing up and down his thigh before he touches his cock, a gentle stroke as his fingers curl around it. his tongue comes next, from base to tip, eyes closing and making a soft sound. he likes doing this, and he kind of thought joon would never really want him, but it's actually happening, and he needs to do... so good.
he needs to be amazing and make joon forget all the things trapping him.
he takes him into his mouth, sinking down on him all the way. ]
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maybe he would be strong enough, if it was anyone but junsu.
at some point, the go board gets nudged. the stones fall a few at a time, sounding like rain as they hit the floor. it's a nice sound, so hojoon's illusions automatically kick in to make it sound like a rain shower outside of swamp house. hojoon is only concerned about what's inside of it, inside of this room and on this bed. he makes a sound when junsu takes him into his mouth.]
Take your time. [joon whispers, his voice already a little wrecked. he remembers what junsu said at the game, about his gag reflex. but he wants both of them to enjoy this to the fullest, a little part of him already fearing, knowing that this should never happen again. he wants to memorize everything about how beautiful the human is. finally, a new good memory to treasure and give him strength.] You're incredible. You're the most wonderful thing in this world and I will burn to ash anyone who ever tells you otherwise.
[joon's words are dangerous, but his touch is gentle. he slides his fingers through his hair, petting before they curl. he leans his head back, arching a little when junsu's tongue touches a certain spot on his cock. he laughs shakily.]
And holy fuck, that mouth on you is heaven on earth.
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makes his heart seize up. makes him whisper, hojoon heavy and hot against his tongue, the taste of him filling his mouth.
he slows down, having been told to take his time, taking it to mean joon wants something slower and more careful. he looks at him with his lips wrapped around him, slowly moving over him before licking over the tip.
every action that causes a reaction he repeats, tongue over the same spots, hands on his hips, moaning and sinking back down all the way here and there, for a second or two. just to make hojoon feel it, to make him know he can take all of him, to look at him with his nose pressed against his skin and swallow. ]
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he squeezes his eyes shut at that thought. but junsu is there when he opens them again, looking at him with dark eyes and a perfectly red mouth stretched around him. it punches the oxygen out of him, blowing out the few flames that were still dancing on his skin.
that's when he starts to struggle with his control, wanting to move, not daring when he wants the control to be junsu's. the urge to squirm moves just beneath his skin, making him grip junsu's hair and the mattress respectively.]
I'm almost-
[the sentence is interrupted by a moan and a little jump in his body. joon's hand slides along the other's cheek and jaw, cupping it, thumb brushing the corner of his mouth to feel how well he takes him. hojoon takes a few more harsh breaths, but a tremble has taken over his body and it's not letting him go. something in him has to give.]
Fuck, I'm gonna - move back, Junsu-
[because coming in his mouth would be the final nail in joon's coffin.]
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but he's scared if he stops hojoon will let the walls come back up.
joon's touch on his face makes him want to cry. he can feel him getting closer, his body trembling, but the touch is gentle, heated but still soft.
he doesn't move away. he said he wanted to taste him, and he meant it. he only moans, swallows around him again, brings a hand beneath to cup at him at the same time. hoping he can to draw an explosive orgasm out of joon with his touch, his tongue, his mouth, the way he closes his eyes but then looks up again to find hojoon's. his free hand pats around and finds his, linking their fingers together. it's okay, let go, i've got you. that's what he's trying to say. ]
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he whines, and it's not a sound that's entirely human. joon grits his teeth against it, like this isn't the most pleasure he's felt in so many months.
but it is. junsu looks him in the eyes and it sets him on fire - maybe not literally, maybe not the way his powers can. this is a human's power alone, making him feel this kind of heat. he squeezes junsu's fingers, holding tightly to his hand as he comes, a sudden rush that makes him cry out and curl inward, around junsu.]
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he was let in, and the aftermath of that can be as hard as getting to this point.
he noses at joon's hip, then lets go of his hand to card fingers through his hair, soothing. he can say the things he couldn't say before, with his voice a little wrecked and a little hoarse. ]
You're okay. I got you. [ he really wants to kiss him. he settles close to him, eyes falling to his lips. ]
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[joon murmurs the words. junsu can never say that he doesn't have a power ever again, because he does. he's proof of it.
he stays hunched over for a few seconds more, shoulders rising and falling as he catches his breath. his bangs are damp with sweat, and they stick to his forehead when he tries to push them out of his eyes.
his hand freezes when he looks up and sees junsu from between a few strands. hojoon looks suddenly startled. he looks at junsu, looking flushed and hungry for more, the scattered go stones on the floor, his own clothing cast aside.
fuck. oh fuck.]
...What did I do to you?
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he laughs softly. ]
Nothing yet, except turn me on. [ he helps him brush aside sweaty bangs. ] It's okay. You don't have to do anything.
[ he cups joon's cheek, kisses the other since he's not sure a kiss on the mouth will be welcome. he could ask, but joon looks thrown, so he's giving him a bit of space to breathe. proving he means his words. if this is all joon wants, that's okay. ]
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joon wishes. he would give anything to keep this pain one-sided. he would hurt forever in junsu's place. but he's done it now. his selfishness is going to hurt someone that his heart longs for, just like it did with haneul.]
I want to.
[he can put it off for this one night. hojoon's hands reach for the front of junsu's pants.]
I want to.
[joon repeats the words while nodding. he wants to, and that's the problem. but he can't just leave him like this, taking without giving back. without letting him use his own brand of magic a little bit more.]
Name what you want from me. It's already yours.
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but it's not all. his breath hitches. to hear joon say this, with the sound of rain behind them, the taste of him, his lips still buzzing with it, it makes him want to jump into his arms. hojoon wants to touch him and make him feel good. to junsu, that means this is more than just being attracted to him and wanting some release. this is hojoon wanting to make him feel good and caring about him.
he nods. he trusts hojoon with this. ]
T-Touch me?
[ he presses his forehead against hojoon's hand fumbling to help him get his pants off, pushing at them and kicking them away. ]
Just touch me, baby.
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Where, here?
[he trails his fingers along junsu's shoulders with a little grin, dropping his touch to the back of his elbow. he kisses junsu again before repeating the question, hands roaming over random parts of his body.
it started as a tease. but joon quickly starts to love the feeling of junsu's skin under his hands. he remembers the name of every bone in a human's body. muscles...most of the muscles, he's forgotten.]
Here?
[he whispers it again as he slides his hand against the soft skin of junsu's inner thigh, watching as it makes his legs slide open a little more for him. until his hand lifts and he's rubbing his palm against the underside of his cock. the human body really is something.]
There's not an imperfect part to you.
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Should've — should've known you'd be a tease.
[ it feels like a bit more than that, though, like each touch is appreciative, exploring. it doesn't make junsu feel like a weak human being touched like he's fragile. just like he's important, and he likes that. he wants to be special to people. he feels special now.
his breathing hitches when joon's palm touches him, hips lifting to meet the contact, his head dropping back. ]
Don't stop. [ he says as he wraps his arms around joon's shoulders, keeping him close. it's a bit like he's saying don't go, beneath it all. he doesn't want to feel those doors close again after this. he doesn't want that wall to return. ]
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[joon smiles and kisses him again. he's in no hurry to rush this, even less so now. he watches junsu's every reaction, how open he is, how beautiful he is. he deserves better than someone like hojoon, who puts up walls and keeps himself chained to the past. but his heart ties itself into knots at the thought of giving him up.
he slides his hand along junsu's neck when he leans his head back, just feeling the pulse of his life. his other is still on his cock, a drag of fingers before he wraps his hand around him loosely. his strokes are slow, light, sometimes pausing to let junsu push up through his fist.]
Like I'm going to miss making and seeing you come. [joon's hand slides down his chest, pausing to tease his nipple.] I might have to do it twice.
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I like it. S'hot.
[ junsu's fingers bury in his hair as he arches up into joon's fist whenever given the chance to do so, breathing loud and moaning, whispering joon's name. ]
You're hot. [ he's staring at him now, how he touches his nipple and teases him and makes his breathing hitch again. he's a tease, and playful, and it's kind of perfect and lovely and hotter than it should be. he catches joon's lips, body tensing, coiling as he tries to arch up faster, to get him to move his hand tighter and faster. ]
Please, m'close...
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it's just that he's forgotten that he's those things, or can be. instead he's turned bitter and heartbroken, pessimistic and jealous. if you don't tend to the flowers, weeds will easily grow in their place.
his lips fall open when junsu moans his name. his breaths aren't as heavy, but he times them with the human's, moving a little with him too. his kiss is hungrier this time, messier. he can feel junsu growing more frantic, but he tightens his fist without moving it up and down too much. he has his reasons why he wants junsu to fuck through it, why he wants him to lift.
his free hand goes between his cheeks, finger brushing against his hole to tease him there too, feeling how he wants to open up and let him inside. joon kisses him harder one more time before moving to his neck. he wants to hear his sounds, wants to hear his name in junsu's wrecked voice as he comes.]
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he's gasping into the kiss but returning it with the same hungry, filthy neediness.
that's all it takes, the touch of his fingers as he fucks up into his hand, the suggestion there. he almost wants to tell hojoon to stop and fuck him, then, but he's too close, tipping over the edge already.
he comes with his fingers fisted in hojoon's hair and a cry of his name, said hoarse and croaked and like he's the one thing keeping him together at the moment. his body tenses and releases as he spills over joon's hand, chest heaving for air. ]
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but it affects more than just his body. it feels like his ribs are rattling with every beat of his heart, like it's demanding that joon free it. junsu needs to catch his breath, so he just brushes his lips along his cheekbone before he lays him back. just watching him softly as he recovers and comes back down to him.]
Is this for the bite earlier? [hojoon holds up his hand, junsu's release rolling over it.] I mark you, you mark me?
[joon turns his hand before any can drip off, looking into junsu's eyes as he licks across it.]
Alright. [and then, softer. affectionate.] Feeling okay?
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he's happy. hojoon let him in. ]
Feeling great. Really — really great.
[ he touches hojoon's face, smiling so much his eyes look closed. he leans up, wanting a smooch, but can't quite make it without moving more of his body, flops back down. his bottom lip juts out. ]
Kiss, please.
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[like he needed to say "please" at all. joon leans over him, kissing him slowly and feeling his heart swell and ache at the same time.
he settles over him, not resting the entirety of his weight on to of junsu. he spends a few minutes doing just this, kissing him without expectation to build to anything this time. kissing because he likes kissing him so much, and junsu wants him to, and hojoon never wants to stop.]
I really like you Junsu. [this is something he wants to tell him. this is something he needs to make clear, not realizing that it will lead to more confusion later.] I like you because you're human. I like you because you're you.
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kisses from hojoon, who seems happy to be doing this. who seems to want to keep kissing him.
junsu's cheeks are flushed, his hand on hojoon's neck as he slowly breathes out. his heart is thudding. it's nice. there's warmth in his stomach. he loves that feeling with someone, at the start of things. being liked because he's human, because he's who he is, that hasn't happened to him in so long.
it's precious. this is special. ]
I like you too, Hojoon. [ he whispers, eyes on his. ] A lot. [ he wrinkles his nose, bumping it against hojoon's. ] Stay with me tonight?
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