[ in spite of being extremely turned on and very much wanting hojoon's touch now that he's expressed wanting to give junsu that, he finds himself amused. smiling, huffing breathless laughter. ]
Should've — should've known you'd be a tease.
[ it feels like a bit more than that, though, like each touch is appreciative, exploring. it doesn't make junsu feel like a weak human being touched like he's fragile. just like he's important, and he likes that. he wants to be special to people. he feels special now.
his breathing hitches when joon's palm touches him, hips lifting to meet the contact, his head dropping back. ]
Don't stop. [ he says as he wraps his arms around joon's shoulders, keeping him close. it's a bit like he's saying don't go, beneath it all. he doesn't want to feel those doors close again after this. he doesn't want that wall to return. ]
[joon smiles and kisses him again. he's in no hurry to rush this, even less so now. he watches junsu's every reaction, how open he is, how beautiful he is. he deserves better than someone like hojoon, who puts up walls and keeps himself chained to the past. but his heart ties itself into knots at the thought of giving him up.
he slides his hand along junsu's neck when he leans his head back, just feeling the pulse of his life. his other is still on his cock, a drag of fingers before he wraps his hand around him loosely. his strokes are slow, light, sometimes pausing to let junsu push up through his fist.]
Like I'm going to miss making and seeing you come. [joon's hand slides down his chest, pausing to tease his nipple.] I might have to do it twice.
[ junsu thinks the next time they do this, he wants to see hojoon smile like that plenty. he wants to make him laugh as much as he wants to make him feel good. even through the haze of pleasure, the heat under his skin causing his skin to flush read and his hair to stick to his temples, he wants that. ]
I like it. S'hot.
[ junsu's fingers bury in his hair as he arches up into joon's fist whenever given the chance to do so, breathing loud and moaning, whispering joon's name. ]
You're hot. [ he's staring at him now, how he touches his nipple and teases him and makes his breathing hitch again. he's a tease, and playful, and it's kind of perfect and lovely and hotter than it should be. he catches joon's lips, body tensing, coiling as he tries to arch up faster, to get him to move his hand tighter and faster. ]
[in truth, hojoon is a lot of good things. at times, mischievous, but also playful. he's sensual and protective, brave and loyal.
it's just that he's forgotten that he's those things, or can be. instead he's turned bitter and heartbroken, pessimistic and jealous. if you don't tend to the flowers, weeds will easily grow in their place.
his lips fall open when junsu moans his name. his breaths aren't as heavy, but he times them with the human's, moving a little with him too. his kiss is hungrier this time, messier. he can feel junsu growing more frantic, but he tightens his fist without moving it up and down too much. he has his reasons why he wants junsu to fuck through it, why he wants him to lift.
his free hand goes between his cheeks, finger brushing against his hole to tease him there too, feeling how he wants to open up and let him inside. joon kisses him harder one more time before moving to his neck. he wants to hear his sounds, wants to hear his name in junsu's wrecked voice as he comes.]
[ junsu sees these things. he does. it's what's so appealing about him, much more than the careful, distant blankness he falls back on. and he's so happy to see these things here, now. it's like hojoon has finally opened up instead of simply glancing over a cracked door.
he's gasping into the kiss but returning it with the same hungry, filthy neediness.
that's all it takes, the touch of his fingers as he fucks up into his hand, the suggestion there. he almost wants to tell hojoon to stop and fuck him, then, but he's too close, tipping over the edge already.
he comes with his fingers fisted in hojoon's hair and a cry of his name, said hoarse and croaked and like he's the one thing keeping him together at the moment. his body tenses and releases as he spills over joon's hand, chest heaving for air. ]
[junsu's so hard in his fist. he can feel the heat of him, the pulse. all the signs of his body tell joon when it's happening. he draws back a little, mouth open, eyes bright at the sound of his name on the other's tongue. that alone would be enough to make him hard again.
but it affects more than just his body. it feels like his ribs are rattling with every beat of his heart, like it's demanding that joon free it. junsu needs to catch his breath, so he just brushes his lips along his cheekbone before he lays him back. just watching him softly as he recovers and comes back down to him.]
Is this for the bite earlier? [hojoon holds up his hand, junsu's release rolling over it.] I mark you, you mark me?
[joon turns his hand before any can drip off, looking into junsu's eyes as he licks across it.]
[ watching joon lick the mess from his hand has him shuddering, making a little sound again. it's hot, even as he comes down from his orgasm, even as sweat cools at his temples. he doesn't take his eyes off of hojoon. smiles, sated and happy and fond, at the softness in his voice.
he's happy. hojoon let him in. ]
Feeling great. Really — really great.
[ he touches hojoon's face, smiling so much his eyes look closed. he leans up, wanting a smooch, but can't quite make it without moving more of his body, flops back down. his bottom lip juts out. ]
[like he needed to say "please" at all. joon leans over him, kissing him slowly and feeling his heart swell and ache at the same time.
he settles over him, not resting the entirety of his weight on to of junsu. he spends a few minutes doing just this, kissing him without expectation to build to anything this time. kissing because he likes kissing him so much, and junsu wants him to, and hojoon never wants to stop.]
I really like you Junsu. [this is something he wants to tell him. this is something he needs to make clear, not realizing that it will lead to more confusion later.] I like you because you're human. I like you because you're you.
[ this is... so nice. and hojoon is still there. it warms his heart, it reassures him, it lulls him into thinking things between them are going to change now. he kisses joon slow and soft and he memorizes everyone, so happy to get this when he thought it wouldn't really happen.
kisses from hojoon, who seems happy to be doing this. who seems to want to keep kissing him.
junsu's cheeks are flushed, his hand on hojoon's neck as he slowly breathes out. his heart is thudding. it's nice. there's warmth in his stomach. he loves that feeling with someone, at the start of things. being liked because he's human, because he's who he is, that hasn't happened to him in so long.
it's precious. this is special. ]
I like you too, Hojoon. [ he whispers, eyes on his. ] A lot. [ he wrinkles his nose, bumping it against hojoon's. ] Stay with me tonight?
[he wants to tease him. he wants to joke about junsu being so forward, and what kind of a boy does he take him for? he thinks junsu would like that. he thinks he would laugh.]
Sure.
[that response comes out instead, with hojoon getting more comfortable on the bed, making a soft sound as he kisses him.]
Pretty sure I said I was going to make you come twice, after all.
[it'll be nice to have a few more hours to work on that. it'll be nice to have a few more hours with junsu. there's nothing that he wants more right now, and nothing that he wants less than for morning to come.]
[ junsu giggles, settling into the bed and pulling at the sheets so they can get comfortable. he's so happy hojoon isn't making excuses and going back to his room. his cheeks have a happy flush, round with his smile. ]
I kinda still feel like I won something.
[ his hand goes to hojoon's arm. that's his prize. he won!
he laughs again, hooking a leg over hojoon's. that's such an appealing idea, even as he's barely come down from joon's touches. he wonders what else they could get up to. how else joon would get him off. ]
That wasn't just a thing you were saying to turn me on? Interesting.
[just a few moves, but he laughs at junsu's easy acceptance of defeat. but the suggestion that he won something anyway, that joon is a prize to him....
fuck. knowing that he deserves the pain won't make it hurt any less.
he puts it out of his mind, shaking his head while his hand rubs long junsu's thigh, desperate for more touches and kisses and orgasms too..]
It needs to always be at least twice. Just to make sure that first one wasn't a fluke or something.
[ junsu doesn't want to bring up that joon had looked out of it at times when he taught him, that it was this that made junsu direct them to doing something else.
he likes this moment too much. he even plays a long, going ahhh and looking illuminated. ]
I see, that makes sense. Totally logical stuff.
[ he scoots closer, humming happily at joon's touches. he feels completely spoiled with attention, with care. it's a nice feeling. ]
[he deserves this, the care, the attention. junsu's beautiful when he smiles, and he deserves all the reasons in the world to do it. hojoon is apparently one of those reasons, if tonight is true.
to be thinking of denying him those things, of actually taking those smiles away...it makes joon want to burn himself to ash for the second time in his life. and there's a limit to what he can take, and mention of round two has him stuck for a moment. he knows what junsu likes, but right now, with the thoughts that are spiraling around inside his head, it feels more like taking than giving something to him.]
I think fucking me might be a good test. [because that's different. because that's joon offering himself, knowing and wanting to do it anyway. he looks over at junsu, playing with his hair and looking at his face for his reaction.] If you're into that. It's been awhile for me, over a year. It'd be nice to feel someone again.
[ junsu smiles, closing his eyes a moment as joon plays with his hair. when he opens his eyes, there's a bit of a spark there. he likes that idea. he'd like it no matter what, he but he likes that joon asked, that it's been a while but he wants junsu. he wants to do what joon would like the most. ]
I'm into that.
[ he shifts, rolling toward joon, half on top of him and holding himself up on a forearm over him. his head dips, lips finding joon's, noses brushing. ]
[he does, even without fucking him. without touching him. junsu makes him feel amazing, and sometimes it hurts too. maybe that's all a part of healing, joon wouldn't know. he hasn't tried.
hojoon closes his eyes, lets junsu kisses him as much as he wants. but the noses thing brings a smile to his lips.]
Are you turning into a fox now? Let me see how many tails you have.
[joon reaches a hand around, grabbing junsu's ass playfully.]
[ junsu lets out a pleased little yelp, laughing as he kisses joon again, nipping at his bottom lip for that comment and ass grab. ]
You don't need an excuse to grab my ass, you know.
[ this time when he kisses joon it's more heated, almost languid but it deepens quickly, tasting him. he grinds down against him, rolls his hips with joon's hands still on his ass. ]
I didn't grab, I was inspecting! Grab is what perverts do.
[it sounds weak, even to him. joon might be laughing at himself a little when junsu starts to kiss him again. he can't remember the last time he really laughed. he can't be bothered to think too much about it with junsu's lips against his, opening him up. joon moans softly into the kiss, keeping his hands right where they are and pressing junsu's body down against his.]
[ he mumbles between kisses, but it's quickly drowned out by a moan when his body is pressed down against him. he likes that. he wonders what it would be like for joon to pin him down and fuck into him. god, he wants that too, but right now he figures they can do that next time.
another roll of his hips, and junsu's thinking of the lube and condoms in the night table, of how to best get joon's body relaxed and soft and pliant and ready. ]
[another roll of his hips and all joon is thinking about is feeling another roll of his hips. it feels good but a little strange being the one taken care of. junsu's question only adds to that feeling.
joon enjoys putting his mouth everywhere. he likes to taste and breathe a lover in. he likes using his words and other parts of his body to make them come apart as much as he likes using his cock to do it.
but it feels like he's asking junsu to do something dirty, like when he came in his mouth earlier. it feels like something that junsu's mouth shouldn't do, even when his cock gets harder at the offer. a part of him can't believe that junsu would want to do that to him, for him. but he knows that kind of thinking is nonsense too.
his lips part to answer, but it takes him a second to get the words out.]
Is it something you like doing? You don't have to do anything just for me, you already make me happy.
[ junsu's smile is so soft. they haven't known each other long, but he makes hojoon happy. he latches onto that, kissing him again through the curve of his lips. ]
I want to. [ he whispers against his mouth, echoing joon's earlier words. ] I want to make you feel so good.
[ hojoon seems to be hesitating. junsu strokes his sides with his hands, rocks against him only a little, to say i'm here, i like you, i'm into this, more than to distract or give pleasure. ]
[it works, while also still being a little distracting and giving pleasure. joon slides his hands to junsu's hips, smiling at how even this would be enough to make him happy, to just lie pressed together with junsu touching him this way. it isn't just about sex, which makes it so much more complicated.]
Okay. Yes, I'd be honored. [joon's face scrunches up, who the fuck says that.] I mean, I want to. I want you to.
[and then that grimace is back. he really hates revealing that he doesn't actually know everything about everything. something that his brother suffers with frequently.]
[ he laughs softly, so amused by i'd be honored, but pleased too. to think it's an honor to get eaten out by junsu. he doesn't feel like a measly little human around joon.
for this, junsu won't tease. joon grimaces but junsu only smiles and kisses him again to soothe him. he doesn't want to laugh at him for something he's not super knowledgeable about. he's touched, even, that he's being shown this. ]
Yeah, roll over. Get a pillow beneath your hips if you don't want to be on your knees.
[ whatever's more comfortable for joon. his hands strokes his back as he settles. ]
[it might've been more appropriate to say two hundred years ago. it hasn't been that long for him, he swears.
joon rolls over, and finds that this might actually be better. his face feels too warm right now. but he trusts junsu, and he's excited in spite of himself, so he pushes a pillow under his hips and sighs, getting settled on his stomach.]
Ready.
[he lets junsu's hands pass over him a couple more times before he says it.]
[ he doesn't let joon finish that, spreading him once his hands slide down from his back to his ass and lowering his head to press a kiss over his rim. he doesn't need to say he won't get tired, he can show it.
he starts slow at first, kisses and laps of his tongue to get him used to it. he's not assuming he never experienced this before, but his words of it being a while, and everything joon did until this point, tell him to take it easy. not to overwhelm him. to take good care of him.
once he's wet and relaxed and giving beneath his tongue, he presses it inside, lapping up at him and running a soothing hand up and down the back of his thigh. ]
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Should've — should've known you'd be a tease.
[ it feels like a bit more than that, though, like each touch is appreciative, exploring. it doesn't make junsu feel like a weak human being touched like he's fragile. just like he's important, and he likes that. he wants to be special to people. he feels special now.
his breathing hitches when joon's palm touches him, hips lifting to meet the contact, his head dropping back. ]
Don't stop. [ he says as he wraps his arms around joon's shoulders, keeping him close. it's a bit like he's saying don't go, beneath it all. he doesn't want to feel those doors close again after this. he doesn't want that wall to return. ]
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[joon smiles and kisses him again. he's in no hurry to rush this, even less so now. he watches junsu's every reaction, how open he is, how beautiful he is. he deserves better than someone like hojoon, who puts up walls and keeps himself chained to the past. but his heart ties itself into knots at the thought of giving him up.
he slides his hand along junsu's neck when he leans his head back, just feeling the pulse of his life. his other is still on his cock, a drag of fingers before he wraps his hand around him loosely. his strokes are slow, light, sometimes pausing to let junsu push up through his fist.]
Like I'm going to miss making and seeing you come. [joon's hand slides down his chest, pausing to tease his nipple.] I might have to do it twice.
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I like it. S'hot.
[ junsu's fingers bury in his hair as he arches up into joon's fist whenever given the chance to do so, breathing loud and moaning, whispering joon's name. ]
You're hot. [ he's staring at him now, how he touches his nipple and teases him and makes his breathing hitch again. he's a tease, and playful, and it's kind of perfect and lovely and hotter than it should be. he catches joon's lips, body tensing, coiling as he tries to arch up faster, to get him to move his hand tighter and faster. ]
Please, m'close...
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it's just that he's forgotten that he's those things, or can be. instead he's turned bitter and heartbroken, pessimistic and jealous. if you don't tend to the flowers, weeds will easily grow in their place.
his lips fall open when junsu moans his name. his breaths aren't as heavy, but he times them with the human's, moving a little with him too. his kiss is hungrier this time, messier. he can feel junsu growing more frantic, but he tightens his fist without moving it up and down too much. he has his reasons why he wants junsu to fuck through it, why he wants him to lift.
his free hand goes between his cheeks, finger brushing against his hole to tease him there too, feeling how he wants to open up and let him inside. joon kisses him harder one more time before moving to his neck. he wants to hear his sounds, wants to hear his name in junsu's wrecked voice as he comes.]
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he's gasping into the kiss but returning it with the same hungry, filthy neediness.
that's all it takes, the touch of his fingers as he fucks up into his hand, the suggestion there. he almost wants to tell hojoon to stop and fuck him, then, but he's too close, tipping over the edge already.
he comes with his fingers fisted in hojoon's hair and a cry of his name, said hoarse and croaked and like he's the one thing keeping him together at the moment. his body tenses and releases as he spills over joon's hand, chest heaving for air. ]
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but it affects more than just his body. it feels like his ribs are rattling with every beat of his heart, like it's demanding that joon free it. junsu needs to catch his breath, so he just brushes his lips along his cheekbone before he lays him back. just watching him softly as he recovers and comes back down to him.]
Is this for the bite earlier? [hojoon holds up his hand, junsu's release rolling over it.] I mark you, you mark me?
[joon turns his hand before any can drip off, looking into junsu's eyes as he licks across it.]
Alright. [and then, softer. affectionate.] Feeling okay?
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he's happy. hojoon let him in. ]
Feeling great. Really — really great.
[ he touches hojoon's face, smiling so much his eyes look closed. he leans up, wanting a smooch, but can't quite make it without moving more of his body, flops back down. his bottom lip juts out. ]
Kiss, please.
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[like he needed to say "please" at all. joon leans over him, kissing him slowly and feeling his heart swell and ache at the same time.
he settles over him, not resting the entirety of his weight on to of junsu. he spends a few minutes doing just this, kissing him without expectation to build to anything this time. kissing because he likes kissing him so much, and junsu wants him to, and hojoon never wants to stop.]
I really like you Junsu. [this is something he wants to tell him. this is something he needs to make clear, not realizing that it will lead to more confusion later.] I like you because you're human. I like you because you're you.
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kisses from hojoon, who seems happy to be doing this. who seems to want to keep kissing him.
junsu's cheeks are flushed, his hand on hojoon's neck as he slowly breathes out. his heart is thudding. it's nice. there's warmth in his stomach. he loves that feeling with someone, at the start of things. being liked because he's human, because he's who he is, that hasn't happened to him in so long.
it's precious. this is special. ]
I like you too, Hojoon. [ he whispers, eyes on his. ] A lot. [ he wrinkles his nose, bumping it against hojoon's. ] Stay with me tonight?
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Sure.
[that response comes out instead, with hojoon getting more comfortable on the bed, making a soft sound as he kisses him.]
Pretty sure I said I was going to make you come twice, after all.
[it'll be nice to have a few more hours to work on that. it'll be nice to have a few more hours with junsu. there's nothing that he wants more right now, and nothing that he wants less than for morning to come.]
Sorry you lost at your first game of go though.
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I kinda still feel like I won something.
[ his hand goes to hojoon's arm. that's his prize. he won!
he laughs again, hooking a leg over hojoon's. that's such an appealing idea, even as he's barely come down from joon's touches. he wonders what else they could get up to. how else joon would get him off. ]
That wasn't just a thing you were saying to turn me on? Interesting.
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[just a few moves, but he laughs at junsu's easy acceptance of defeat. but the suggestion that he won something anyway, that joon is a prize to him....
fuck. knowing that he deserves the pain won't make it hurt any less.
he puts it out of his mind, shaking his head while his hand rubs long junsu's thigh, desperate for more touches and kisses and orgasms too..]
It needs to always be at least twice. Just to make sure that first one wasn't a fluke or something.
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he likes this moment too much. he even plays a long, going ahhh and looking illuminated. ]
I see, that makes sense. Totally logical stuff.
[ he scoots closer, humming happily at joon's touches. he feels completely spoiled with attention, with care. it's a nice feeling. ]
How would you go about this round two, then?
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to be thinking of denying him those things, of actually taking those smiles away...it makes joon want to burn himself to ash for the second time in his life. and there's a limit to what he can take, and mention of round two has him stuck for a moment. he knows what junsu likes, but right now, with the thoughts that are spiraling around inside his head, it feels more like taking than giving something to him.]
I think fucking me might be a good test. [because that's different. because that's joon offering himself, knowing and wanting to do it anyway. he looks over at junsu, playing with his hair and looking at his face for his reaction.] If you're into that. It's been awhile for me, over a year. It'd be nice to feel someone again.
[in more ways than one, really.]
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I'm into that.
[ he shifts, rolling toward joon, half on top of him and holding himself up on a forearm over him. his head dips, lips finding joon's, noses brushing. ]
I want to make you feel really amazing.
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[he does, even without fucking him. without touching him. junsu makes him feel amazing, and sometimes it hurts too. maybe that's all a part of healing, joon wouldn't know. he hasn't tried.
hojoon closes his eyes, lets junsu kisses him as much as he wants. but the noses thing brings a smile to his lips.]
Are you turning into a fox now? Let me see how many tails you have.
[joon reaches a hand around, grabbing junsu's ass playfully.]
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You don't need an excuse to grab my ass, you know.
[ this time when he kisses joon it's more heated, almost languid but it deepens quickly, tasting him. he grinds down against him, rolls his hips with joon's hands still on his ass. ]
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[it sounds weak, even to him. joon might be laughing at himself a little when junsu starts to kiss him again. he can't remember the last time he really laughed. he can't be bothered to think too much about it with junsu's lips against his, opening him up. joon moans softly into the kiss, keeping his hands right where they are and pressing junsu's body down against his.]
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[ he mumbles between kisses, but it's quickly drowned out by a moan when his body is pressed down against him. he likes that. he wonders what it would be like for joon to pin him down and fuck into him. god, he wants that too, but right now he figures they can do that next time.
another roll of his hips, and junsu's thinking of the lube and condoms in the night table, of how to best get joon's body relaxed and soft and pliant and ready. ]
Do you... do you like being eaten out?
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joon enjoys putting his mouth everywhere. he likes to taste and breathe a lover in. he likes using his words and other parts of his body to make them come apart as much as he likes using his cock to do it.
but it feels like he's asking junsu to do something dirty, like when he came in his mouth earlier. it feels like something that junsu's mouth shouldn't do, even when his cock gets harder at the offer. a part of him can't believe that junsu would want to do that to him, for him. but he knows that kind of thinking is nonsense too.
his lips part to answer, but it takes him a second to get the words out.]
Is it something you like doing? You don't have to do anything just for me, you already make me happy.
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I want to. [ he whispers against his mouth, echoing joon's earlier words. ] I want to make you feel so good.
[ hojoon seems to be hesitating. junsu strokes his sides with his hands, rocks against him only a little, to say i'm here, i like you, i'm into this, more than to distract or give pleasure. ]
Only if you want to.
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Okay. Yes, I'd be honored. [joon's face scrunches up, who the fuck says that.] I mean, I want to. I want you to.
[and then that grimace is back. he really hates revealing that he doesn't actually know everything about everything. something that his brother suffers with frequently.]
Should I...roll over?
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for this, junsu won't tease. joon grimaces but junsu only smiles and kisses him again to soothe him. he doesn't want to laugh at him for something he's not super knowledgeable about. he's touched, even, that he's being shown this. ]
Yeah, roll over. Get a pillow beneath your hips if you don't want to be on your knees.
[ whatever's more comfortable for joon. his hands strokes his back as he settles. ]
Let me know when you're ready, babe.
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joon rolls over, and finds that this might actually be better. his face feels too warm right now. but he trusts junsu, and he's excited in spite of himself, so he pushes a pillow under his hips and sighs, getting settled on his stomach.]
Ready.
[he lets junsu's hands pass over him a couple more times before he says it.]
If you get tired or just want to stop-
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he starts slow at first, kisses and laps of his tongue to get him used to it. he's not assuming he never experienced this before, but his words of it being a while, and everything joon did until this point, tell him to take it easy. not to overwhelm him. to take good care of him.
once he's wet and relaxed and giving beneath his tongue, he presses it inside, lapping up at him and running a soothing hand up and down the back of his thigh. ]
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