inbox

[braced]

Comments

[chamsae]

I thought as much. But I had considered asking if anyone knew where to get these items. In the end, I think I need to find them on my own. With your help, if you don't mind.

Thank you. I'm glad to be here too. I've met people who have changed me. It's interesting. I think it's good.

[braced]

id be happy to babe

the people here... they're good people.

[chamsae]

You're very kind. I'm glad I asked you for help.

I believe you're right about that. You are also good.

[braced]

when do you want to go?

thank you for saying that.

[chamsae]

Do you have free time today? Or perhaps tomorrow is more prudent.

I would not say it if I didn't believe it.

[braced]

i have free time everyday

i know. youre very honest! :)

[chamsae]

I do as well. I'm finding it hard to occupy my time without regular tasks. I thought this might help.

I do not see a reason not to be. Subterfuge is not something I was engineered to be good at.

[braced]

thank you for inviting me to come along

it must be weird, having all that freedom now

[chamsae]

Thank you for agreeing to come. I'm sorry if I asked in a way that was awkward.

It is strange. But I hope to learn to enjoy it.

[braced]

not at all.

i can help. i have an appreciation for freedom.

[chamsae]

Not at all awkward? Or does the turn of phrase mean something else?

What gave you that appreciation?

[braced]

not at all awkward.

losing your freedom tends to do that

[chamsae]

Oh. Good. I'm glad about that. I wouldn't have worried as much before, but I feel relieved to know it now.

What aspects of it are you more aware of now?

[braced]

i can make my own schedule. i can go where i want. i can do what i want when i want, not only during certain times.

[ he wouldve said not fearing for his life all the time was a sort of freedom, too, but he's still scared. not quite as much as when he was in jail, but still. it hovers. ]

[chamsae]

I see. I agree with this. I used to find those things stabilizing. But it's good to be free of them now.

I believe I can see why you're grateful.

[ Bird doesn't exactly take into account that their life experience is a little different. But they are... trying in a clumsy way to make a connection. ]

[braced]

its a little overwhelming sometimes.

it must be for you, too

[chamsae]

That is the word I'd use, yes. There may be others that apply as well.

[braced]

like?

[chamsae]

It can be alarming. When I encounter something new that I have no precedent for. Relationships, for example.

[braced]

theres not much you can do about that than do your best, right?

[chamsae]

Perhaps. May I ask you something? I think it's rather personal.

[braced]

sure, go ahead

[chamsae]

Do you think that trusting yourself is a difficult thing to do? To have faith in yourself?

[braced]

it is. i dont think anyone would tell you thats easy

[chamsae]

I see. I struggle with it also, though it never occurred to me that I would before I came here. I didn't make my own choices, so there was never a question of them being right or wrong. Who would expect me to accept the blame for something that I'd not chosen to do, as long as I did it well?

That's the fearful thing about freedom. I said it was stabilizing, but it's destabilizing as well.