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[ that makes junsu so happy. he's thought of as family. they're only boyfriends, but family feels so right, too. they live in the same home, after all, and see each other all the time.
he turns his hand to grip hojoon's. ]
I love you. I'm here for you.
[ he's glad if he can help, but he thinks this might be something that weighs on both the brothers for a while. it's scary. it's new. it means changing how they've lived their whole lives. ]
It's okay to worry about it and get sad about it, I think. But I'm here if you need to vent about it, okay, baby?
he turns his hand to grip hojoon's. ]
I love you. I'm here for you.
[ he's glad if he can help, but he thinks this might be something that weighs on both the brothers for a while. it's scary. it's new. it means changing how they've lived their whole lives. ]
It's okay to worry about it and get sad about it, I think. But I'm here if you need to vent about it, okay, baby?
Good. I want — if I could, I would take that pain away from you and bear it myself. So if I help at all... I'm glad.
[ he wants to be that for him. good, a relief, freedom from pain. his arms go around him, holding kwang against his chest and nosing into his hair. he feels better around kwang too. more like a person, less like a mess. less confused, frustrated by his own feelings, and instead calm and knowing he can figure it out and things will work out.
he hums softly. ]
Course he thought they were beautiful. [ and it must be amazing for kwang to have found someone who isn't hurt by his proximity alone in that situation. ] That's true, he can handle hot, can't he?
[ he wants to be that for him. good, a relief, freedom from pain. his arms go around him, holding kwang against his chest and nosing into his hair. he feels better around kwang too. more like a person, less like a mess. less confused, frustrated by his own feelings, and instead calm and knowing he can figure it out and things will work out.
he hums softly. ]
Course he thought they were beautiful. [ and it must be amazing for kwang to have found someone who isn't hurt by his proximity alone in that situation. ] That's true, he can handle hot, can't he?
[ junsu doesn't know what to do. he's terrified. he thought he'd been scared before but it's nothing like this, being out in the courtyard with magical people of all kinds, strengths and powers of all kinds, and him, weak and helpless and stuck, face swollen and bruised, feeling small.
where would he go if he escaped? where would he hide? he has nothing, no one, nowhere. he wouldn't even have anywhere to sleep unless he found someone to charm in a bar, and he's not going to do so in a prison outfit and a black eye.
he wants to glance up and see if minsu's at the window, but he also doesn't want to risk it. his heart hammers in his chest as he starts walking, trying to appear casual and aimless, but wandering toward the area minsu pointed out. he can't test it, and he doesn't want to linger in that spot longer than necessary so as to not draw attention to it. but he walks by. tries to look, listen. he notices a dandelion growing at the foot of the fence, outside the prison. he walks past it.
he's too scared, even if he could escape this way. it's daylight, and everyone else might turn against him in the yard and try to go after him. if he's seen, they'd all rush here to get out first, and he would be the first to die in the ensuing chaos.
so no. he's not escaping. he'll do it with minsu. they'll plan ahead.
he wanders back toward the picnic tables and sits down and lets the sun shine over his head and does his very best not to cry. when he's taken back to his cell, he doesn't say anything, sitting on his bunk. ]
where would he go if he escaped? where would he hide? he has nothing, no one, nowhere. he wouldn't even have anywhere to sleep unless he found someone to charm in a bar, and he's not going to do so in a prison outfit and a black eye.
he wants to glance up and see if minsu's at the window, but he also doesn't want to risk it. his heart hammers in his chest as he starts walking, trying to appear casual and aimless, but wandering toward the area minsu pointed out. he can't test it, and he doesn't want to linger in that spot longer than necessary so as to not draw attention to it. but he walks by. tries to look, listen. he notices a dandelion growing at the foot of the fence, outside the prison. he walks past it.
he's too scared, even if he could escape this way. it's daylight, and everyone else might turn against him in the yard and try to go after him. if he's seen, they'd all rush here to get out first, and he would be the first to die in the ensuing chaos.
so no. he's not escaping. he'll do it with minsu. they'll plan ahead.
he wanders back toward the picnic tables and sits down and lets the sun shine over his head and does his very best not to cry. when he's taken back to his cell, he doesn't say anything, sitting on his bunk. ]
[minsu is aware of the others in the yard, who and what each one is. but his eyes never stray from junsu. he'll make it if he just goes fr it.
and he's going to do it. minsu watches him approach that spot, casual to any eyes but minsu's he grips the bars until his knuckles turn white, bites down on his bottom lip until he tastes blood.
and then junsu keeps walking, and sits down, and minsu's heart leaps and then sinks, guilt weighing his happiness down. he's quiet too when he's brought back, tilting his head at him before moving to sit beside him.]
Why?
and he's going to do it. minsu watches him approach that spot, casual to any eyes but minsu's he grips the bars until his knuckles turn white, bites down on his bottom lip until he tastes blood.
and then junsu keeps walking, and sits down, and minsu's heart leaps and then sinks, guilt weighing his happiness down. he's quiet too when he's brought back, tilting his head at him before moving to sit beside him.]
Why?
[ Kwang swallows hard, shaking his head. He knows what Junsu means, because it's what he does himself - he'd rather bear people's pain than see them suffer, especially people he loves, so it's not like he can say anything to that, but the idea of seeing Junsu in pain is. Not something Kwang is really willing to do. He's hurt him enough.
Kwang sways ever closer, arms wrapping around Junsu's waist, pressing his nose against his boyfriend's collarbone, just relishing in his presence.
Kwang chuckles, pulling back to look up at Junsu with a crooked grin. ]
Well, he can handle you, so he can definitely handle hot.
Kwang sways ever closer, arms wrapping around Junsu's waist, pressing his nose against his boyfriend's collarbone, just relishing in his presence.
Kwang chuckles, pulling back to look up at Junsu with a crooked grin. ]
Well, he can handle you, so he can definitely handle hot.
It's yours. I'm not taking it from you.
[ which is only part of the truth. he would feel like he owes minsu his life if he just went, and he would have no way to repay him. so it's not a lie.
but the rest is harder to say. he wants to, though. minsu has been honest and forthright with him, so junsu will do the same. mostly. there are things he can't yet say. ]
And I'm — I'm scared. I don't have anything out there. I'm scared they'd catch me before I got far.
[ he breathes out, slow and measured. ]
We should do it together.
[ which is only part of the truth. he would feel like he owes minsu his life if he just went, and he would have no way to repay him. so it's not a lie.
but the rest is harder to say. he wants to, though. minsu has been honest and forthright with him, so junsu will do the same. mostly. there are things he can't yet say. ]
And I'm — I'm scared. I don't have anything out there. I'm scared they'd catch me before I got far.
[ he breathes out, slow and measured. ]
We should do it together.
[minsu starts shaking his head, lowering his eyes. it's not his. it can't be his. it's better if the temptation is removed from him completely.
but then junsu says that he's scared, talks about having nothing. that's a feeling that minsu knows well. and knowing the guards here, they really might catch him, and things would be so much worse for junsu after they hurt him again. minsu doesn't think he could stand that.]
Okay. [as soon as he whispers it, minsu realizes how much he wants to be out. he wants to eat different things besides the same five meals they always rotate. he wants to eat as much as he can instead of only what's served on those tin trays. he wants to watch the show that the guard down the hall watches for himself, instead of just listening to it. but most of all, he wants to be with junsu, and protect him.] Get some sleep, ok? You should be rested up first. [minsu lies down, but he does it on junsu's cot, smiling almost shyly.] The guards won't bother you this way. And I won't either, I promise.
but then junsu says that he's scared, talks about having nothing. that's a feeling that minsu knows well. and knowing the guards here, they really might catch him, and things would be so much worse for junsu after they hurt him again. minsu doesn't think he could stand that.]
Okay. [as soon as he whispers it, minsu realizes how much he wants to be out. he wants to eat different things besides the same five meals they always rotate. he wants to eat as much as he can instead of only what's served on those tin trays. he wants to watch the show that the guard down the hall watches for himself, instead of just listening to it. but most of all, he wants to be with junsu, and protect him.] Get some sleep, ok? You should be rested up first. [minsu lies down, but he does it on junsu's cot, smiling almost shyly.] The guards won't bother you this way. And I won't either, I promise.
[ junsu lets out a cry of playful indignation at the pun, squeezing kwang into his arms and against him with a laugh. ]
That was both amazing and terrible. That takes skill.
[ and he really appreciates the compliment. he's never really found himself hideous, or anything, but to hear someone like kwang talk about him like that... it makes his heart race and his face feel hot.
kwang is so, so handsome, and gorgeous, and when he looks at junsu he sees that in him. ]
Thanks for saying I'm hot, hottie.
That was both amazing and terrible. That takes skill.
[ and he really appreciates the compliment. he's never really found himself hideous, or anything, but to hear someone like kwang talk about him like that... it makes his heart race and his face feel hot.
kwang is so, so handsome, and gorgeous, and when he looks at junsu he sees that in him. ]
Thanks for saying I'm hot, hottie.
[ Kwang laughs in answer, muffling it in the crook of Junsu's neck. It feels good to laugh, after such a heavy, if necessary conversation. ]
What can I say, guess I'm just that good.
[ And he'd agree, in that he doesn't find himself hideous, and he cares about the way he looks, but he still feels like Junsu is miles ahead of him. He pulls back to be able to look at him, those crinkling eyes and full lips and cute nose, and he leans in for a chaste kiss, unable to help himself. ]
Anytime, babe. Seriously, you need an ego boost? I'm your guy.
What can I say, guess I'm just that good.
[ And he'd agree, in that he doesn't find himself hideous, and he cares about the way he looks, but he still feels like Junsu is miles ahead of him. He pulls back to be able to look at him, those crinkling eyes and full lips and cute nose, and he leans in for a chaste kiss, unable to help himself. ]
Anytime, babe. Seriously, you need an ego boost? I'm your guy.
[ haru gave junsu a long look for a moment then took the time to gaze around the room. a person showed plenty with what they placed around them. ] Of course. Who wouldn't find you gorgeous is more of the question here!
What would have happened if I said something earlier? [ a playfulness seeped into his eyes. ]
What would have happened if I said something earlier? [ a playfulness seeped into his eyes. ]
[ junsu laughs too, then sobers up a little, but his expression is soft. ]
You really are so nice to me. This is so nice.
[ it's hard to remember kwang is his boyfriend in a concrete way, sometimes. because he's not been anyone's boyfriend in so long, and even back then maybe a part of him never really believed it was a real, lasting thing.
this feels real and lasting. and he's reminded that kwang is his boyfriend and he is kwang's boyfriend when they talk like this and make each other feel good with their words and do things like pretty up a tree house to be together, all alone. ]
Thank you for this, baby.
You really are so nice to me. This is so nice.
[ it's hard to remember kwang is his boyfriend in a concrete way, sometimes. because he's not been anyone's boyfriend in so long, and even back then maybe a part of him never really believed it was a real, lasting thing.
this feels real and lasting. and he's reminded that kwang is his boyfriend and he is kwang's boyfriend when they talk like this and make each other feel good with their words and do things like pretty up a tree house to be together, all alone. ]
Thank you for this, baby.
[ junsu has a lot of books, and clothes, and notebooks and pens. that's mostly what he likes surrounding himself by. ]
Then I might have asked you over early.
[ junsu says before settling onto his bed, patting the space next to him for haru to join him. ]
Then I might have asked you over early.
[ junsu says before settling onto his bed, patting the space next to him for haru to join him. ]
[ Kwang runs his fingers through Junsu's hair, leaning back a little with his free hand on the blanket behind him, giving himself the opportunity to look his fill. Junsu still has insecurities about him, and Kwang knows it, even if he wishes he could shore it all up easily, with looks and words and promises. It's the kind of thing that takes time, and he knows it, he's patient, and every day he'll keep showing Junsu that he does love him, with everything he is made of.
Kwang smiles, thumb brushing Junsu's cheek. ]
You're welcome. Not that it was entirely selfless, mind you.
Kwang smiles, thumb brushing Junsu's cheek. ]
You're welcome. Not that it was entirely selfless, mind you.
It's okay to want me for yourself.
[ he does show junsu every day. most of the insecurities are less tied to kwang and a lot more tied to junsu himself,these days. those are harder to get rid of, more insidious.
he knows kwang loves him but being reminded still takes his breath away sometimes. ]
[ he does show junsu every day. most of the insecurities are less tied to kwang and a lot more tied to junsu himself,these days. those are harder to get rid of, more insidious.
he knows kwang loves him but being reminded still takes his breath away sometimes. ]
Mmm, and I do.
[ Just like it’s okay for Junsu to want him alone, too. Kwang surges up, fitting their mouths together in a searing kiss, hoping to say all the things he doesn’t always have the words for in it. His hand slides to the back of Junsu’s neck, and when he pulls back, a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. ]
This weekend, it’s just about us, yeah? Let me take care of you. Worship you a little.
[ Just like it’s okay for Junsu to want him alone, too. Kwang surges up, fitting their mouths together in a searing kiss, hoping to say all the things he doesn’t always have the words for in it. His hand slides to the back of Junsu’s neck, and when he pulls back, a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. ]
This weekend, it’s just about us, yeah? Let me take care of you. Worship you a little.
yeah, i'm just
[shocked? confused? joon isn't quite sure to describe it. but he wanted junsu to know that he's okay for the few seconds it takes him to make it to his room and slide across his bed, head resting in junsu's lap.]
Kwang told me something.
[shocked? confused? joon isn't quite sure to describe it. but he wanted junsu to know that he's okay for the few seconds it takes him to make it to his room and slide across his bed, head resting in junsu's lap.]
Kwang told me something.
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