[ The moment Junsu is hugging him, Kwang is holding right back, hoping he can pass his feelings on through touch, reaching up to card fingers through his hair, reassuring, just - here, like he wasn't recently. ]
I'm sorry if I made you think I'd never want to speak to you again.
[ He remembers, Minsu begging him to speak to Junsu. Ten telling him it's worth it, if he loves him. Thoughts in his own head repeatedly coming back to this, to how much he already missed Junsu, how he'd missed him before when he'd put some distance between them. He didn't want this anymore, he just wanted to be here with Junsu. For them to grow together.
He smiles, pressing it to the curve of Junsu's neck. ]
[ it's so, so reassuring. junsu is melting into the touch, the words, the joy of knowing he's special in a unique way compared to everyone else kwang is with. he doesn't mind sharing the title with ten. he just wants to be important, and thought ten was it for kwang, that there was no room for anyone else to be that special.
he shakes his head. kwang doesn't have to apologize. ]
It's okay. I would have deserved it for doing that to you. I'm the one who's sorry. For letting fear take priority.
[ he traces kwang's lips with his fingertips, featherlight. ]
It's you. You're more important than how afraid I am.
[ Maybe this was Kwang was always supposed to do. To find these people, to fall helplessly in love, with both of them. To be there for both of them, to show them both just how much they deserved to be loved. Kwang's heart feels so content, so warm, full but also so ready to give more.
Kwang shakes his head the same, pulling back to look up at Junsu. ]
You had reasons to lie. I was - I was dismissive of humans, wasn't I? I probably made you feel like shit, I'm sorry.
[ Junsu's next words make Kwang's heart seize, and he reaches out, curling his hand over Junsu's, nuzzling his cheek into it. ]
What are you afraid of, now?
[ He mimics Junsu's movements, tracing the roundness of his cheek, down to his lips, eyes completely focused on him. ] Yeah. It does.
I'm not really scared, honestly. I feel like I should be, but I'm not. [ because kwang is here with him. right now everything is fine even though being someone's boyfriend is a big thing and one he should feel pressure to earn, especially after everything.
he just feels undeserving, but not afraid. he won't mess this up. kwang knows all his truths now.
he turns his head to kiss kwang's palm, inside the curl of his fingers. he doesn't want kwang to feel bad for anything he might have said about humans. maybe it did hurt, but it doesn't matter, because he wasn't saying those things about junsu and he still wants him now. ]
Don't be. [ It's a whisper, caught between soft breaths, the world entirely fading away as Kwang looks at Junsu. Beautiful, soft, a little broken, Junsu.
His.
Kwang tangles two of his fingers, from his free hand, into the cord he's hung his magic charm on. ] Don't be scared. You've got me, and I've got you. If you need to talk, we can, about. About anything. I'll listen, I promise. I'll be good to you.
[ He smiles, a little weak. His eyes don't feel very dry. ]
[ it's whispered, too, soft. he wants kwang to believe that. he wants kwang to know that he knows this, that kwang has always listened and been good to him, that it's why he feels safe with him.
now more than ever, because kwang knows about him and loves him still and wants him still.
junsu touches kwang's jaw, his own eyes not very dry, but his lips curled in a soft smile. ]
Yeah. I think so. [ there's not a lot of cheek in the attempt to be playful. he wants to kiss kwang too badly. so he does that, pressing his lips against his, soft and tender. ]
[ Kwang doesn't feel like he's always been good to Junsu. He's let negative emotions take the better of him, and it hadn't been fair. He'd left him to worry and think the worst, for days.
Sure, Kwang needed some time for himself, then. But it doesn't make him feel like he's been his best self, and he'll make up for it, one way or another. Starting here, now, by kissing Junsu back, a soft sigh of contentment leaving his lips as he does, fingers brushing through Junsu's hair.
Saying he's missed this doesn't even start to encompass it all, and he smiles helplessly, moving up a little so that they're chest to chest. ]
[ junsu smiles into the kiss too, even as his eyes burn with tears again. he'd missed him. he'd thought... he'd really thought kwang would never want him again. that maybe they could end up being friends but that he would never want to touch or kiss him.
but he's kissing him. and they're boyfriends. and junsu had missed him and basically started mourning what they'd had.
he pulls back for a second before kissing him again, arms going around his neck and the press of his lips more insistent now, deepening the kiss a little desperately. ]
[ Kwang thought maybe he was being greedy, in some ways. Wanting so much out of Junsu, out of Ten, out of everyone. Wanting them to help him heal when he couldn't do it by himself.
But they'd both made it clear, that this is what they want. They both want him, and, oh, what a heady thought. He slides his hands around Junsu's waist, holding him tighter, opening his eyes for a split second when Junsu pulls back, only to come right back, deeper still, more intent.
Kwang opens himself to Junsu, mouth, head, heart. He's willing to give him all, under these circumstances. He wants to, and his hands slide under Junsu's shirt, not hesitating anymore. ]
[ junsu gasps when kwang touches him under his shirt, barely easing back from the kiss to mumble against his lips. one of his hands is rubbing circles at the base of his nape, the other in his hair, curled lightly there. ]
I missed you.
[ he doesn't want kwang to feel any guilt for their brief separation. it really was brief. but it feels important to say. he missed him. he was so sad without him, lost. things are so good right now. ]
[ Kwang makes a little noise, eyes staying closed as he nods, because he's missed Junsu too, even though it was just a few days. Just like last time, when Junsu put some distance between them, Kwang felt it then, felt it very strongly. It had taken no time at all for Junsu to carve himself a place in Kwang's heart, and every time they didn't see each other for a day, he felt it keenly. ]
I love you.
[ He grins, leaning up for another kiss, his hand moving up Junsu's back. ]
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I'm sorry if I made you think I'd never want to speak to you again.
[ He remembers, Minsu begging him to speak to Junsu. Ten telling him it's worth it, if he loves him. Thoughts in his own head repeatedly coming back to this, to how much he already missed Junsu, how he'd missed him before when he'd put some distance between them. He didn't want this anymore, he just wanted to be here with Junsu. For them to grow together.
He smiles, pressing it to the curve of Junsu's neck. ]
Boyfriend. Suits you.
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he shakes his head. kwang doesn't have to apologize. ]
It's okay. I would have deserved it for doing that to you. I'm the one who's sorry. For letting fear take priority.
[ he traces kwang's lips with his fingertips, featherlight. ]
It's you. You're more important than how afraid I am.
[ he smiles a bit, almost shy. ]
You really think it suits me?
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Kwang shakes his head the same, pulling back to look up at Junsu. ]
You had reasons to lie. I was - I was dismissive of humans, wasn't I? I probably made you feel like shit, I'm sorry.
[ Junsu's next words make Kwang's heart seize, and he reaches out, curling his hand over Junsu's, nuzzling his cheek into it. ]
What are you afraid of, now?
[ He mimics Junsu's movements, tracing the roundness of his cheek, down to his lips, eyes completely focused on him. ] Yeah. It does.
no subject
I'm not really scared, honestly. I feel like I should be, but I'm not. [ because kwang is here with him. right now everything is fine even though being someone's boyfriend is a big thing and one he should feel pressure to earn, especially after everything.
he just feels undeserving, but not afraid. he won't mess this up. kwang knows all his truths now.
he turns his head to kiss kwang's palm, inside the curl of his fingers. he doesn't want kwang to feel bad for anything he might have said about humans. maybe it did hurt, but it doesn't matter, because he wasn't saying those things about junsu and he still wants him now. ]
It's okay. I lied, so. We're even.
no subject
His.
Kwang tangles two of his fingers, from his free hand, into the cord he's hung his magic charm on. ] Don't be scared. You've got me, and I've got you. If you need to talk, we can, about. About anything. I'll listen, I promise. I'll be good to you.
[ He smiles, a little weak. His eyes don't feel very dry. ]
Are you going to kiss me?
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[ it's whispered, too, soft. he wants kwang to believe that. he wants kwang to know that he knows this, that kwang has always listened and been good to him, that it's why he feels safe with him.
now more than ever, because kwang knows about him and loves him still and wants him still.
junsu touches kwang's jaw, his own eyes not very dry, but his lips curled in a soft smile. ]
Yeah. I think so. [ there's not a lot of cheek in the attempt to be playful. he wants to kiss kwang too badly. so he does that, pressing his lips against his, soft and tender. ]
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Sure, Kwang needed some time for himself, then. But it doesn't make him feel like he's been his best self, and he'll make up for it, one way or another. Starting here, now, by kissing Junsu back, a soft sigh of contentment leaving his lips as he does, fingers brushing through Junsu's hair.
Saying he's missed this doesn't even start to encompass it all, and he smiles helplessly, moving up a little so that they're chest to chest. ]
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but he's kissing him. and they're boyfriends. and junsu had missed him and basically started mourning what they'd had.
he pulls back for a second before kissing him again, arms going around his neck and the press of his lips more insistent now, deepening the kiss a little desperately. ]
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But they'd both made it clear, that this is what they want. They both want him, and, oh, what a heady thought. He slides his hands around Junsu's waist, holding him tighter, opening his eyes for a split second when Junsu pulls back, only to come right back, deeper still, more intent.
Kwang opens himself to Junsu, mouth, head, heart. He's willing to give him all, under these circumstances. He wants to, and his hands slide under Junsu's shirt, not hesitating anymore. ]
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I missed you.
[ he doesn't want kwang to feel any guilt for their brief separation. it really was brief. but it feels important to say. he missed him. he was so sad without him, lost. things are so good right now. ]
I love you.
no subject
I love you.
[ He grins, leaning up for another kiss, his hand moving up Junsu's back. ]