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[braced]

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[braced]

good. you shouldnt

am i doing something that says otherwise? am i doing this wrong or something?

[gunflowers]

I really don’t get why you all have such faith in me, but you know. Thanks.

No, I don’t think you are. It seems to me like you’re doing just fine. You love them both, and that’s it. Maybe it’s just because he doesn’t know how this kind of relationship works? If he thinks there are differences between the ways you love them, or at least the strength of your feelings.

Do you think it’s be better if you were just with him?

[braced]

kwang felt it too. he says it wasnt really my fault but i mustve done something. and joon all this time just. thought i loved him less.

i dont think thats a fair question. its not about that to me anyway. its not a solution because it would mean hurting myself and kwang and hojoon wouldnt want that either

[gunflowers]

Kwang did? Huh. No, Junsu, don’t blame yourself. Just - keep on loving them, you know? At the end of the day, that’s all that you can do. They can’t have an issue if you love them both with all your heart, right?

Sorry, you’re right. You shouldn’t have to choose between them. They’re both okay with the way your relationship works, right? It’s not like you’ve ever pretended it was anything else.

Shit, do you want to talk in person? D’you need a hug?

[braced]

yeah thats

thats what i thought is the only thing i can really do. i love them and i can keep showing them and i guess if it doesnt feel right for them... we'll talk and try and figure it out. its just scary. and kind of hurts to think you love someone so much but they dont feel it the way you thought they would i guess

im okay. thanks

[gunflowers]

I don’t think you should put that on yourself. I’m sure they feel the way you love them very intently. You’re so kind and generous, Junsu, and they must know that - it must be why they love you back. And if you’re worried, or hurt, maybe you should say that to them? You shouldn’t be the only one to make an effort.

Okay. Well it’s here if you want it.

[braced]

i want them to feel it. i feel like im failing if they dont. but its not like i can do more? i dont know. i mean i could do more for them specifically but since i love them so much already in my head i dont know how else i could show them that, so. its scary, i guess.

thank you

[gunflowers]

I think you’re so good. They’re lucky to have you, alright? Believe me. You’re amazing. Never ever forget that, they’re lucky to have you. So lucky.

I was a little jealous, for a while. They’ve got it so good, having you.

[braced]

really? you were jealous?

[gunflowers]

Yeah, a little. They get to have the lot of you and I - I didn’t. I never did.

Which is okay, I’m not bitter about it. But I was a little jealous.

[braced]

theres some of me they didnt get to have but that you did.

[gunflowers]

and i cherish these memories every day. i really do.

but seriously, if they hurt you, they're the biggest idiots i've ever seen. surely they're not that dumb to not realize how amazing you are.

[braced]

but youre happy, right?

they wouldnt. they care about me as much as i care about them! im just sensitive

[gunflowers]

fuck, jun, i've never been this happy. i'm... i feel free. safe. for the first time. Dal is so good to me, i never thought i'd ever get someone like him in my life.

and jesus, for barely-not-a-virgin anymore he's good in bed.


they love you, and we all love you. so much

[braced]

you deserve it. im happy for you

thanks for listening to me

[gunflowers]

You deserve to be happy, too. Are you?

Always. Bffs 5ever, right?

[braced]

when im with them, yes

bffs 5ever!

[gunflowers]

Okay. Okay, that’s good.

I’m glad we both get to be happy.

[braced]

yeah. me too