[joon wonders about that. hojin isn't a child, but there's something childlike about him. not in a bad way, just...innocent. if joon gets hurt, he can build a wall around himself. if jin gets hurt, he just...hurts. they've all seen it.
but he tries to imagine sungki as being the one capable of that and...it doesn't fit. and junsu's right, there's risks for sungki by going too fast, too soon. he takes a calm sip of his tea while his boyfriend speaks. and then does this weird little squirm and whimper before he returns to normal again.]
You're right. I should want them to get along, and I do. [he sinks down in his chair a little.] Even if he takes him away from me.
[ ah. that's what really bothers joon, isn't it? or what he's afraid of. or what he might be feeling like right now, even. junsu lets go of his tea, scooting his chair closer to joon, close enough their knees press together. ]
He's always going to be your brother. He's always going to be your twin. Just as you're his, even if you have me.
[ his hand falls on joon's thigh, resting there. ]
He loves you so much. I don't think anyone could ever take either of you from the other.
[it is the biggest part of what's bothering him. whether it's in thirty days or three months or a year, it's starting to look like what joon was hoping would happen could happen. jin might fall in love with sungki. they might have sex. and then sungki might want to go back to tokyo, and he knows his brother craves excitement, and there's a lot more of it to be found there than in the swamp.]
I know we're always going to have a connection. But I haven't seen him in a couple of days, and he probably didn't see me for a couple before that, and it's feeling more and more like.... [he trails off, smiling sadly.] We're having our own lives.
[another thing that hojoon wanted. it's just bittersweet now that it's here. his hand covers junsu's.]
Thank you for being a part of my family. I don't know what I'd do without you, I really don't.
[ that makes junsu so happy. he's thought of as family. they're only boyfriends, but family feels so right, too. they live in the same home, after all, and see each other all the time.
he turns his hand to grip hojoon's. ]
I love you. I'm here for you.
[ he's glad if he can help, but he thinks this might be something that weighs on both the brothers for a while. it's scary. it's new. it means changing how they've lived their whole lives. ]
It's okay to worry about it and get sad about it, I think. But I'm here if you need to vent about it, okay, baby?
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but he tries to imagine sungki as being the one capable of that and...it doesn't fit. and junsu's right, there's risks for sungki by going too fast, too soon. he takes a calm sip of his tea while his boyfriend speaks. and then does this weird little squirm and whimper before he returns to normal again.]
You're right. I should want them to get along, and I do. [he sinks down in his chair a little.] Even if he takes him away from me.
no subject
He's always going to be your brother. He's always going to be your twin. Just as you're his, even if you have me.
[ his hand falls on joon's thigh, resting there. ]
He loves you so much. I don't think anyone could ever take either of you from the other.
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I know we're always going to have a connection. But I haven't seen him in a couple of days, and he probably didn't see me for a couple before that, and it's feeling more and more like.... [he trails off, smiling sadly.] We're having our own lives.
[another thing that hojoon wanted. it's just bittersweet now that it's here. his hand covers junsu's.]
Thank you for being a part of my family. I don't know what I'd do without you, I really don't.
no subject
he turns his hand to grip hojoon's. ]
I love you. I'm here for you.
[ he's glad if he can help, but he thinks this might be something that weighs on both the brothers for a while. it's scary. it's new. it means changing how they've lived their whole lives. ]
It's okay to worry about it and get sad about it, I think. But I'm here if you need to vent about it, okay, baby?