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[braced]

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[braced]

i get that. i was... i ended up locked up for a while. so i have some idea.

i dont know, but everyone could hurt someone else without meaning to.

[strewn]

You do, don't you? Sorry. Honestly, I really am. It's not a feeling I want anyone else to understand.

But I take things. Things no one should have taken from them unless they consent to it.

[braced]

yeah. me either. is there no way you can be touched by someone without problem?

if youre upfront about that then the people who stay close to you are aware. and would know it was an accident if one was to happen

[strewn]

With my left hand. I have to be wearing a glove. I'm not sure it's the same.

Have you ever accidentally hurt someone? Really, really hurt them. Like, you reached for a glass at the same time they did and that was all it took.

[braced]

i wouldnt think its the same. but just to feel something might be... something.

no... not like that.

[strewn]

Something is more than nothing. I heard that somewhere. I'd like to think that's true, but I don't have a lot of context.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound sanctimonious or anything. It's hard though, when things that shouldn't hurt anyone, do.

[braced]

it is true. something is definitely better than nothing.

its fine. i was just trying to help. around here... you could exist without being scared, if people know what you can do they can help you avoid any problems

[strewn]

What if having something means having something to miss when it's gone?

You did. I shouldn't minimize that. I'm going to be honest with everyone and let them decide what they think is best. That seems like the only way we can live here, I think.

[braced]

at least you knew what it was like. and you dont have to wonder. thats my experience.

yeah. thats good. its a two person thing you know. you tell someone and you can trust each other and work through it together if something happens

[strewn]

I wonder about everything. I'm used to wondering. I'm not used to losing things. I guess it's scary.

Trust is a big word.

[braced]

it is scary. but i guess its up to you. deciding which youd rather live with.

you dont want to get people to trust you?

[strewn]

That's another thing. I don't usually get much of a choice about things.

Maybe I don't trust myself.

[braced]

why not? shouldn't it be 50/50?

then that means you dont trust anyone else either.

[strewn]

It doesn't work like that for us. Before we came here, I barely ever did anything. It was either too dangerous or what was the point? I knew things from osmosis, but I didn't have any friends or work to do or any kind of obligation.

You can't have one without the other?

[braced]

you must be bored. and lonely.

can you? if someone says they trust you, doesnt it mean nothing to you because you dont trust yourself?

[strewn]

I think that'd be a good way to sum it up, yeah.

Maybe it's enough to believe in a person who believes in you.

[braced]

i hope you can come out more here. it's safe.

it didnt sound like thats what you were saying.

[strewn]

It feels safer. I think this is the most I've been out in months. Maybe years.

No, I guess it didn't, did it? I do kind of want to believe that's true though.

[braced]

that makes me sad for you.

then there's no reason you cant be around people here, if you trust them to trust you

[strewn]

It makes me kind of sad for me too, to be honest. I guess I can try to take advantage of being around people more now.

Might not be so bad, right?

[braced]

you should.

right. if youre honest about what might happen and the person says its okay, then its okay

[strewn]

I will. Bam can deal with it. He usually does just fine.

It's that simple, huh?

[braced]

he can. you should get your turn.

i mean, yeah. if they know what the risks are and dont think they're risks, then you can talk about it if something happens. its not like you kill people if you accidentally touch them.

[strewn]

My turn, right. Maybe we'll resort to a schedule.

I could. I mean, I don't know that for sure, but if I touched someone long enough. Might be. Maybe I don't deserve to touch people if I'm that scared of what I can do.

[braced]

why not? does he rest if youre gone? could have night and day each.

then just don't try to go that far? just go bit by bit.

and thats stupid. we can all hurt each other, even if not physically. and we still touch and get close. and get hurt and survive.