[junsu is so nice. he's so nice and kind. even when they sleep together, junsu is different. minsu finds himself wanting to come to him more and more, sometimes coming to the door only to find him already with someone else. in the past, minsu would just find another room, someone else to help him keep the loneliness at bay, someone else's arms to fall asleep in.
lately, he finds that he can't always fall asleep at someone else's side. instead he lies awake, thinking of junsu. twice this week he's just gone back to his own room.
junsu is nice, but he shouldn't mistake for more than it is. he's just asking for heartbreak that way.
but how could minsu not get his hopes up when the other boy agrees with him. he swallows hard and studies his face for a moment.]
Could you...this is going to sound weird, but could you maybe say my name?
[ not asking minsu what he means by this, what he's saying, it's hard. he doesn't want to rush him, doesn't want to pressure him, and most of all doesn't want to say something about this if he's completely wrong. he'd be so humiliated if he assumed minsu was confessing the same kind of feelings he has for him.
minsu's been coming to him a lot, but that doesn't have to mean anything. junsu wishes he'd come every night. when they're all having breakfast, junsu wishes the chair next to him was always free because everyone knows it's minsu's seat. he wishes they could eat side by side as the sun came in through the window, every morning.
he can't take his eyes off of him right now, and he tends not to want to take them off of him ever. ]
It's not weird.
[ he touches minsu's cheek, thumb tracing over his cheekbone. ]
[minsu exhales when junsu touches him, when he says his name. minsu used to delight in the sweet little things that junsu called him, still does. but he's started to notice that he calls other people by them too. and minsu...gods help him, he wants to be special. and when junsu breathes his name when they're tangled together, that's when he -feels- special.
he uses the momentum of this feeling to push him closer, into junsu's space and onto his lap, bracketing him against the wall while he kisses him. he hasn't given up on his words, but minsu's letting the kiss speak for him right now, going from open and hungry to repeated little pecks against his mouth.
minsu keeps his eyes closed as he catches his breath, but he knows he needs to open them before he speaks his next words. junsu needs to see the truth in his eyes.]
It's more than just being happy. It's more, with you it's more.
[ eventually, minsu will notice that junsu saves honey for him. he uses it rarely in the first place, but with minsu it comes naturally, reflects the golden, sweet warmth that minsu brings to his life. it's all he can think about when minsu gets into his lap and kisses him like this, hands going up minsu's shirt to touch at his back.
he's a bit breathless after, watching minsu without looking anywhere else but his eyes, his nose, his mouth.
he's really saying what junsu thinks he's saying. ]
Minsu... [ he's so happy. and scared, too, but very little, only a bit of nerves, mostly — mostly he's happy.
more than happy. just more. ] Yes. It's more, with you.
[ he touches minsu's face now, tracing a finger along his bottom lip. ]
[there's a little hiccup of breath. not a sob, but it wouldn't take much to become one. it's what minsu was longing to hear, but now that he's heard it, he doesn't even know what to do with it. he doesn't know what to say next, or if he should be doing something.]
I've never been anyone's favorite anything. I wasn't even my parent's favorite son.
[it's a bit of a joke, since he was their only son. minsu gives a lopsided smile, but he's snapped out of his daze enough that kissing seems like a good idea. kissing is easy and familiar. minsu wraps his arms around him, licking at junsu's mouth, pressing soft kisses against softer lips until he lets him in. ]
[ that makes junsu's heart hurt a bit, but he gets it, and he hopes... he really hopes... that he can make that kind of statement something of the past. if they make each other happy enough, everything else will be less important, right? that makes sense, right?
thoughts melt away when minsu kisses him, junsu's hand exploring the small of his back, palm brushing over skin as he parts his lips easily, eagerly. welcoming.
is this really happening? does he really mean something special to minsu, just as minsu means to him? and are they kissing now, knowing that about each other?
he lets out a breath through his nose, whining into the kiss and pressing back against it with more slow, charged insistence. if this is really happening, he wants to feel it. he wants it to be unforgettable. he wants to kiss and kiss until their lips are sore, then he wants to ask minsu if this means junsu can be his. ]
[minsu's heart pounds faster. he's wondering the same thing, suddenly wondering if he expressed his feelings enough, if junsu's aware of the strength of them. he didn't spell out that he feels warm all over when junsu just walks into the room. he didn't tell him how much it means when they just lie together on the bed, fingers tangling as they talk and laugh about the smallest things. minsu told him about the happy feeling, but not about how he also felt safe and calm with junsu. how he could just be himself. how he could just be himself and still feel like he's worth something. there's a bond there and with him.
he's flushed and breathless by the time the kiss breaks, but he still clings to junsu. minsu tries to press closer, bringing their forehead together.]
Show me how it feels when it's more. I've never...
[minsu swallows hard. it's going to be different, and that's exciting and only a little bit scary. minsu's kissing him again, rocking against his lap, restless but letting junsu have control of him.]
[ junsu doesn't want to be scared, so before he does anything, he takes the time to kiss minsu. soft and slow but deep, too. meant to make him want to melt, all while junsu's hand slides higher up his back, fingertips brushing at his spine. the rocking has him making a soft sound even though it's far from the best way to get friction between them right now.
it's electric for other reasons. for what minsu said.
it's more. junsu isn't sure he knows what that's like, either, except he feels it with minsu.
when he breaks the kiss, face a little flushed, he shifts his grip so both his arms are around minsu, then moves forward to lie him back on the bed. he slots himself between minsu's legs, finding his eyes as he slowly rocks against him, now a lot more intense than before in spite of the layers of clothing in their way. ]
I can show you, [ he says. ] I think it's been there from the start.
[ a quiet confession between two rolls of his hips, hands now tugging at minsu's shirt so he'll get it off, then working his pants open. ]
[he wants to focus on everything at once, commit every little detail of this moment to memory. the way junsu tastes, the sound of his breath. minsu slides his hand against his chest until he can feel the beat of junsu's heart against his palm. all of that is a part of this feeling that he can only describe as "more".
minsu's mouth falls open as junsu lays him back and rocks against him. even with their clothes in the way, he can still recognize the hard line of him. he feels his cock start to swell. he moves against him, wondering at how perfectly their bodies have always worked together, but the rolling of his hips pauses for a moment.]
From the beginning, really? Oh-
[something in minsu's expression breaks, leaves him vulnerable. so that's why it felt different with junsu, all along and until it brought him here. he rises up from the mattress to help with his shirt, but he's probably more of a distraction than anything when he starts kissing junsu again.]
[ junsu wishes he was magic, now, so he could rid them both of their clothing with a flick of the wrist and not have to stop kissing minsu. they've done this before, more than once, but it's different now, different when minsu kisses him and they both know it means more, is more, than when they kiss anyone else.
his heart beats hard and fast in his chest as he keeps kissing minsu while tugging his arms out of the shirt, finally breaking the kiss just to get it over his head. he throws it aside, hands returning to minsu's waistband. rolling his hips again, slow, just once before he has to shift away to get his pants off. ]
From the beginning, [ he echoes, pressing a kiss to minsu's cheek before he's scooting back and taking his pants with him. once they're kicked off, his hands roam minsu's body, chest and tracing tattoos and the line of his hips. ]
[why is he trembling, and how long has he been trembling before he notices it. minsu tries to stay still, curl his fingers into the sheets beneath him and focus on junsu and his touch. but he feels like a live wire, or maybe an exposed nerve.
neither. he's not going to hurt junsu, and junsu's not going to hurt him. minsu trusts him too much for that, so he breathes out, closes his eyes for a moment. when he opens them again, junsu is still there.]
Ah...I thought I might be dreaming.
[it's embarrassing to admit, but at least he can laugh at himself.]
[ junsu's touch is trying to ease some of that trembling, but he feels some of it himself. if he lifts his hands from minsu, he can even see it in the jitter of his fingers. it's because it means so much.
he leans down to kiss minsu, to whisper against his lips as he settles between his legs. ]
You're not dreaming. I'm here. [ the kiss moves to minsu's chin, jaw, cheek again. he can't help it. he wants to cover minsu in affection and attention and love. he wants to see him glow. he wants to look at him from across the room and for their gaze to be full of the things they share, just the two of them. ]
You dreamt about me? [ there's a bit of awe in his eyes now, as he rolls his thumb over minsu's nipple, looking down at him and thinking about this. had minsu dreamt this? specifically?
[minsu sighs, tipping his head forward until it touches the other boy's. his touch is doing exactly that, easing his nervousness. it doesn't help much with making this seem less like a dream, so minsu presses his hand against his cheek, the one that he takes and kisses when he seems that junsu's hands are shaking a little too. the warmth of it reassures him.]
Hmm... [he lies back against the bed, arching gently. when he smiles at him, it's more relaxed, with eyelashes at half-mast and some of the glow that junsu was hoping for on his skin.] Most of the time, there's no faces.
[not for dreams where...well, not for dreams like that.]
With you it's always you. I always see you. And I always wake up with my sheets in a mess.
[he laughs at that, at himself. but these are the confessions he wants to share with junsu know. these are the not-so-little things he wants him to know.]
[ the fond, loving smile on junsu's face says plenty about what he thinks about this. minsu laughs, and junsu does softly too, light and tinkling as he leans in to press a kiss to his cheek. his hands keep roaming.
minsu looks relaxed, like putty. junsu wants to bask in this a little longer. ]
Must be nice dreams. [ little smirk. ] Should call me when you get those, honey.
[ his kisses move down minsu's next to his chest, and this time it's a tongue that swipes over a nipple, junsu humming softly before he looks up at minsu again. ]
[minsu likes the thought of that already, junsu coming to him in the darkness when everything is still a little bit like a dream, slipping into his bed and fucking until the sun rises. until everyone gives up on breakfast and resorts to eating whatever they can find.
he moans softly at the wet softness of junsu's tongue. minsu's already touching him by sliding his hands across his shoulders and down his arms.]
I do. Wanna strip you down and love you in every way that I can. [with his eyes and his mouth and his hands. minsu can put his entire body into adoring junsu.] Just you.
[ his heart shouldn't be racing over getting undressed, but god, it is. it's racing faster than he can remember it ever doing before. minsu wants to love him. just him.
he surges toward minsu's mouth, kissing him hard, already breathless. ]
Please do. Undress me. Love me.
[ embarrassing to sound like he needs it so much, but he does, and there's no one he wants it from more than minsu. minsu is what keeps him afloat, the person he turns to, who always understands, who always does and says the right things and who is so good inside and out that for once junsu isn't thinking about himself when he's with him, but only about what he can do so minsu is happy, smiling, safe.
but maybe he's a little greedy too. he rolls his hips down, still clothed but wanting minsu to feel him. ]
[minsu makes a soft sound into the kiss. he doesn't want it to end, and he knows from experience that he can get junsu's clothes off of him without without breaking that contact. but tonight's not for something rushed like that, and minsu hears the same sentiment in junsu's words.
only him. minsu feels only him from the press of junsu's hips. it makes his head tip back a little, makes a gasp slip past lips that are still shiny and dark from their kiss. there feels like there's something more to those words. minsu knows that he's not imagining it now, and maybe junsu meant for just tonight. but tonight is all minsu's really focused on anyway.
he sits up, removing one article of junsu's clothing at a time. he's good at this, making people feel wanted, giving them all of his attention. it's real now. minsu genuinely adores every inch of skin that's revealed to him, one hand gently pushing junsu back before working his pants down over his hips, trailing kisses along his stomach, lower, until he stops at the base of his cock. he feels like he can finally do this properly once he has him naked, sliding back up to continue the kiss that started this.]
[ junsu bites his lip the whole time minsu's undressing him, breathing a little uneven just from that as he his hand fusses at the sheets, the other going from minsu's arm to his hair, not knowing where to rest. he wants to touch minsu everywhere. he wants to feel him everywhere.
junsu gasps when minsu kisses so low and yet comes back up, but he's patient. for this, his patience is infinite. to kiss minsu is just as good as having his mouth on his cock, if not better. everything counts, because this isn't about forgetting who he is, what he's lying about. it isn't about forgetting that his feelings for minsu are growing and might not be returned.
it's about loving each other.
his eyes widen, lips parted as he takes in those words. ]
Now I'm the one that feels like he's dreaming.
[ he takes minsu's face into his hands, tracing his features with his eyes, over and over. how can he say what this means to him? what minsu means to him? ]
[minsu smiles at him, his eyes bright and open. the way that his breaths come a little quicker betray the pace of his own heart, but junsu can likely feel the beat of it. they're pressed that close together.]
It's better than a dream. [minsu rocks forward gently to kiss junsu's forehead, following it with another wet but brief kiss to the mouth. it's the sort of thing that he enjoys doing, but he's not always sure how well it's received. sometimes his partners just want to get off.] I'm going to be here when you wake up.
[he sighs as junsu takes his face in his hands. there's a soft catch of breath at those words. minsu's never heard their like before, and he knows junsu means them, and that makes him feel like he could float right out of his body, he's so happy.]
Okay pick your body part, because I'm going to make you come with it so hard, I swear to fuck-
[he's in love. all the more reason to tear junsu up.]
[ his heart seizes. saying the words, echoing them, makes them feel more real. minsu is going to be there when he wakes up. he won't wake to an empty bed. minsu's going to be there and they'll have shared this, for real. these feelings between them, that mutual understanding — it means something.
it means everything. and it's real. he laughs at minsu's words, feeling so loved and wanted and happy in a full way he can't remember ever knowing before. maybe it's because minsu fits so well into his life, his heart, that it feels like he belongs there. the doubt about minsu returning his feelings was a deep, deep hole in his chest.
now it's full. so full. his laugh is breathless and watery, eyes filling up. ]
I love you. [ he blurts it out without thinking, without needing to. this has been true from the moment they touched. not love at first sight, but the strike of the match that set it off. his heart beats hard and fast, a little scared, but also not at all. minsu is the safest person. and why would he withhold this feeling from him? he deserves to hear it, to feel it, to know it. to be loved.
his arms wind around minsu's neck, tight, tight. his chest heaves as he takes a deep breath, whispering between them. the laughter's gone now. it's just love and want and awe. wonder. ]
[minsu knows that nothing's wrong, or at least he hopes it's not. maybe that's why he asks the question so softly, cupping junsu's face in his hands so he can brush his thumbs against the dampness under the other boy's eyes. it's enough to make him blink quickly too, laughing along with him. he's really just asking him to share his thoughts.
and he does. to his credit, the change in minsu's expression isn't drastic enough to make junsu feel awkward about the words, nor change the mood. it's just a widening of his eyes, a visible inhale of breath. it's not a dream, he's already established that. minsu must keep believing in the reality of it, otherwise his heart might break.]
Junsu, god.
[minsu kisses him when he wraps his arms around him, open and wet from the very start. this is real, this is happening, and repeats it back to him in words even if the way that he kissed him might've already said it for him.]
I love you too.
[how long. a part of minsu want to ask how long he's know, how long junsu has been in love with him while minsu felt the exact same. but he doesn't want to think about the waste time, doesn't want to waist a minute more either. he kissed down his body, a man on a mission now.]
I love you so much, I'm yours, I'll give you everything that I am.
[ these are words he wasn't sure he'd ever hear, and here they are, repeated, in minsu's voice, aimed at him, meaning what he means when he says them. maybe it's too fast, but he doesn't care. there's been something with minsu since the day he came into the house, even if minsu might not have known at first.
junsu's had his eye on him, watching, wanting, yearning, a little.
and now they're here, and he feels choked up with it, loved, precious, wanted. without having to present himself in such and such a way to get that result with who he's with. he didn't have to do anything except be himself. be free. knowing it was safe.
his hand cards through minsu's hair as he kisses down his body, squirming beneath him like he can't wait, like he knows what's coming is going to be even more incredible than everything they've shared so far. ]
It's not greedy to want something that's already yours.
[minsu laughs, flushed and bright, almost a glow to him. junsu's the only one who's seen him this way, with more to come, what minsu really looks like as a lover and not focused on heavy-lidded looks or positions that will get hands and mouths on him.]
Roll over.
[he pats his hips playfully, one at a time.]
I want to kiss your back too.
[every inch of him deserves love. but there's mischief in minsu's eyes, the curve of his lips. there's more to it than that.]
[ junsu looks at minsu but doesn't even question it, not even the little mischief in his eyes. he's just happy. he just laughs softly under his breath, nodding. there's still a ball of emotion in his throat but it feels good to be light and silly as usual with minsu.
for the joy that permeates being in his presence to remain, even in the more intense and intimate moments. ]
[minsu grin at his compliment. it was always bittersweet before, hearing junsu's praise, his cute little pet names. he has one of the sweetest tongues that minsu's ever known.
he so badly wanted for it to be real, for it to actually mean something. now he knows that it does.
he blinks after junsu glances back, laughs and blushes because he knows he's been caught staring. minsu crawls up closer to him, chest lightly pressing against his back as he drops a kiss to junsu's shoulder first.]
I'm proud to call you all mine. It's probably the first time I've been proud of something in my whole life.
[minsu moves, pressing another kiss to the top of his spine. a hand smooths along his skin as he works his way down, some of the kisses wet, tongue tasting his skin. his ass almost gets a little bite, but then minsu lets go and kisses there too. he reaches up, dragging one of the spare pillows down to work under junsu's hips.]
I love the way you taste when I do this. [minsu slides his hands over the soft flesh, spreads him a little before leaning his head down to lick up him.] You're so hot inside. I've never wanted to make someone come from just my tongue.
[he smiles a little, because maybe less talking and more doing, but he can't help himself. he wants to share everything with junsu, body and thoughts at once.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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lately, he finds that he can't always fall asleep at someone else's side. instead he lies awake, thinking of junsu. twice this week he's just gone back to his own room.
junsu is nice, but he shouldn't mistake for more than it is. he's just asking for heartbreak that way.
but how could minsu not get his hopes up when the other boy agrees with him. he swallows hard and studies his face for a moment.]
Could you...this is going to sound weird, but could you maybe say my name?
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minsu's been coming to him a lot, but that doesn't have to mean anything. junsu wishes he'd come every night. when they're all having breakfast, junsu wishes the chair next to him was always free because everyone knows it's minsu's seat. he wishes they could eat side by side as the sun came in through the window, every morning.
he can't take his eyes off of him right now, and he tends not to want to take them off of him ever. ]
It's not weird.
[ he touches minsu's cheek, thumb tracing over his cheekbone. ]
Minsu.
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he uses the momentum of this feeling to push him closer, into junsu's space and onto his lap, bracketing him against the wall while he kisses him. he hasn't given up on his words, but minsu's letting the kiss speak for him right now, going from open and hungry to repeated little pecks against his mouth.
minsu keeps his eyes closed as he catches his breath, but he knows he needs to open them before he speaks his next words. junsu needs to see the truth in his eyes.]
It's more than just being happy. It's more, with you it's more.
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he's a bit breathless after, watching minsu without looking anywhere else but his eyes, his nose, his mouth.
he's really saying what junsu thinks he's saying. ]
Minsu... [ he's so happy. and scared, too, but very little, only a bit of nerves, mostly — mostly he's happy.
more than happy. just more. ] Yes. It's more, with you.
[ he touches minsu's face now, tracing a finger along his bottom lip. ]
You're my favorite.
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[there's a little hiccup of breath. not a sob, but it wouldn't take much to become one. it's what minsu was longing to hear, but now that he's heard it, he doesn't even know what to do with it. he doesn't know what to say next, or if he should be doing something.]
I've never been anyone's favorite anything. I wasn't even my parent's favorite son.
[it's a bit of a joke, since he was their only son. minsu gives a lopsided smile, but he's snapped out of his daze enough that kissing seems like a good idea. kissing is easy and familiar. minsu wraps his arms around him, licking at junsu's mouth, pressing soft kisses against softer lips until he lets him in. ]
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thoughts melt away when minsu kisses him, junsu's hand exploring the small of his back, palm brushing over skin as he parts his lips easily, eagerly. welcoming.
is this really happening? does he really mean something special to minsu, just as minsu means to him? and are they kissing now, knowing that about each other?
he lets out a breath through his nose, whining into the kiss and pressing back against it with more slow, charged insistence. if this is really happening, he wants to feel it. he wants it to be unforgettable. he wants to kiss and kiss until their lips are sore, then he wants to ask minsu if this means junsu can be his. ]
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he's flushed and breathless by the time the kiss breaks, but he still clings to junsu. minsu tries to press closer, bringing their forehead together.]
Show me how it feels when it's more. I've never...
[minsu swallows hard. it's going to be different, and that's exciting and only a little bit scary. minsu's kissing him again, rocking against his lap, restless but letting junsu have control of him.]
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it's electric for other reasons. for what minsu said.
it's more. junsu isn't sure he knows what that's like, either, except he feels it with minsu.
when he breaks the kiss, face a little flushed, he shifts his grip so both his arms are around minsu, then moves forward to lie him back on the bed. he slots himself between minsu's legs, finding his eyes as he slowly rocks against him, now a lot more intense than before in spite of the layers of clothing in their way. ]
I can show you, [ he says. ] I think it's been there from the start.
[ a quiet confession between two rolls of his hips, hands now tugging at minsu's shirt so he'll get it off, then working his pants open. ]
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minsu's mouth falls open as junsu lays him back and rocks against him. even with their clothes in the way, he can still recognize the hard line of him. he feels his cock start to swell. he moves against him, wondering at how perfectly their bodies have always worked together, but the rolling of his hips pauses for a moment.]
From the beginning, really? Oh-
[something in minsu's expression breaks, leaves him vulnerable. so that's why it felt different with junsu, all along and until it brought him here. he rises up from the mattress to help with his shirt, but he's probably more of a distraction than anything when he starts kissing junsu again.]
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his heart beats hard and fast in his chest as he keeps kissing minsu while tugging his arms out of the shirt, finally breaking the kiss just to get it over his head. he throws it aside, hands returning to minsu's waistband. rolling his hips again, slow, just once before he has to shift away to get his pants off. ]
From the beginning, [ he echoes, pressing a kiss to minsu's cheek before he's scooting back and taking his pants with him. once they're kicked off, his hands roam minsu's body, chest and tracing tattoos and the line of his hips. ]
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neither. he's not going to hurt junsu, and junsu's not going to hurt him. minsu trusts him too much for that, so he breathes out, closes his eyes for a moment. when he opens them again, junsu is still there.]
Ah...I thought I might be dreaming.
[it's embarrassing to admit, but at least he can laugh at himself.]
I've done it before.
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he leans down to kiss minsu, to whisper against his lips as he settles between his legs. ]
You're not dreaming. I'm here. [ the kiss moves to minsu's chin, jaw, cheek again. he can't help it. he wants to cover minsu in affection and attention and love. he wants to see him glow. he wants to look at him from across the room and for their gaze to be full of the things they share, just the two of them. ]
You dreamt about me? [ there's a bit of awe in his eyes now, as he rolls his thumb over minsu's nipple, looking down at him and thinking about this. had minsu dreamt this? specifically?
why does it make his heart beat so fast? ]
no subject
Hmm... [he lies back against the bed, arching gently. when he smiles at him, it's more relaxed, with eyelashes at half-mast and some of the glow that junsu was hoping for on his skin.] Most of the time, there's no faces.
[not for dreams where...well, not for dreams like that.]
With you it's always you. I always see you. And I always wake up with my sheets in a mess.
[he laughs at that, at himself. but these are the confessions he wants to share with junsu know. these are the not-so-little things he wants him to know.]
I want to see you.
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minsu looks relaxed, like putty. junsu wants to bask in this a little longer. ]
Must be nice dreams. [ little smirk. ] Should call me when you get those, honey.
[ his kisses move down minsu's next to his chest, and this time it's a tongue that swipes over a nipple, junsu humming softly before he looks up at minsu again. ]
Do you want to undress me?
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[minsu likes the thought of that already, junsu coming to him in the darkness when everything is still a little bit like a dream, slipping into his bed and fucking until the sun rises. until everyone gives up on breakfast and resorts to eating whatever they can find.
he moans softly at the wet softness of junsu's tongue. minsu's already touching him by sliding his hands across his shoulders and down his arms.]
I do. Wanna strip you down and love you in every way that I can. [with his eyes and his mouth and his hands. minsu can put his entire body into adoring junsu.] Just you.
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he surges toward minsu's mouth, kissing him hard, already breathless. ]
Please do. Undress me. Love me.
[ embarrassing to sound like he needs it so much, but he does, and there's no one he wants it from more than minsu. minsu is what keeps him afloat, the person he turns to, who always understands, who always does and says the right things and who is so good inside and out that for once junsu isn't thinking about himself when he's with him, but only about what he can do so minsu is happy, smiling, safe.
but maybe he's a little greedy too. he rolls his hips down, still clothed but wanting minsu to feel him. ]
Only me.
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only him. minsu feels only him from the press of junsu's hips. it makes his head tip back a little, makes a gasp slip past lips that are still shiny and dark from their kiss. there feels like there's something more to those words. minsu knows that he's not imagining it now, and maybe junsu meant for just tonight. but tonight is all minsu's really focused on anyway.
he sits up, removing one article of junsu's clothing at a time. he's good at this, making people feel wanted, giving them all of his attention. it's real now. minsu genuinely adores every inch of skin that's revealed to him, one hand gently pushing junsu back before working his pants down over his hips, trailing kisses along his stomach, lower, until he stops at the base of his cock. he feels like he can finally do this properly once he has him naked, sliding back up to continue the kiss that started this.]
I need you. You're everything that I need, Junsu.
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junsu gasps when minsu kisses so low and yet comes back up, but he's patient. for this, his patience is infinite. to kiss minsu is just as good as having his mouth on his cock, if not better. everything counts, because this isn't about forgetting who he is, what he's lying about. it isn't about forgetting that his feelings for minsu are growing and might not be returned.
it's about loving each other.
his eyes widen, lips parted as he takes in those words. ]
Now I'm the one that feels like he's dreaming.
[ he takes minsu's face into his hands, tracing his features with his eyes, over and over. how can he say what this means to him? what minsu means to him? ]
I adore you beyond measure.
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It's better than a dream. [minsu rocks forward gently to kiss junsu's forehead, following it with another wet but brief kiss to the mouth. it's the sort of thing that he enjoys doing, but he's not always sure how well it's received. sometimes his partners just want to get off.] I'm going to be here when you wake up.
[he sighs as junsu takes his face in his hands. there's a soft catch of breath at those words. minsu's never heard their like before, and he knows junsu means them, and that makes him feel like he could float right out of his body, he's so happy.]
Okay pick your body part, because I'm going to make you come with it so hard, I swear to fuck-
[he's in love. all the more reason to tear junsu up.]
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[ his heart seizes. saying the words, echoing them, makes them feel more real. minsu is going to be there when he wakes up. he won't wake to an empty bed. minsu's going to be there and they'll have shared this, for real. these feelings between them, that mutual understanding — it means something.
it means everything. and it's real. he laughs at minsu's words, feeling so loved and wanted and happy in a full way he can't remember ever knowing before. maybe it's because minsu fits so well into his life, his heart, that it feels like he belongs there. the doubt about minsu returning his feelings was a deep, deep hole in his chest.
now it's full. so full. his laugh is breathless and watery, eyes filling up. ]
I love you. [ he blurts it out without thinking, without needing to. this has been true from the moment they touched. not love at first sight, but the strike of the match that set it off. his heart beats hard and fast, a little scared, but also not at all. minsu is the safest person. and why would he withhold this feeling from him? he deserves to hear it, to feel it, to know it. to be loved.
his arms wind around minsu's neck, tight, tight. his chest heaves as he takes a deep breath, whispering between them. the laughter's gone now. it's just love and want and awe. wonder. ]
I love you, Minsu. I want all of you.
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[minsu knows that nothing's wrong, or at least he hopes it's not. maybe that's why he asks the question so softly, cupping junsu's face in his hands so he can brush his thumbs against the dampness under the other boy's eyes. it's enough to make him blink quickly too, laughing along with him. he's really just asking him to share his thoughts.
and he does. to his credit, the change in minsu's expression isn't drastic enough to make junsu feel awkward about the words, nor change the mood. it's just a widening of his eyes, a visible inhale of breath. it's not a dream, he's already established that. minsu must keep believing in the reality of it, otherwise his heart might break.]
Junsu, god.
[minsu kisses him when he wraps his arms around him, open and wet from the very start. this is real, this is happening, and repeats it back to him in words even if the way that he kissed him might've already said it for him.]
I love you too.
[how long. a part of minsu want to ask how long he's know, how long junsu has been in love with him while minsu felt the exact same. but he doesn't want to think about the waste time, doesn't want to waist a minute more either. he kissed down his body, a man on a mission now.]
I love you so much, I'm yours, I'll give you everything that I am.
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junsu's had his eye on him, watching, wanting, yearning, a little.
and now they're here, and he feels choked up with it, loved, precious, wanted. without having to present himself in such and such a way to get that result with who he's with. he didn't have to do anything except be himself. be free. knowing it was safe.
his hand cards through minsu's hair as he kisses down his body, squirming beneath him like he can't wait, like he knows what's coming is going to be even more incredible than everything they've shared so far. ]
I'm so greedy. I want it all.
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[minsu laughs, flushed and bright, almost a glow to him. junsu's the only one who's seen him this way, with more to come, what minsu really looks like as a lover and not focused on heavy-lidded looks or positions that will get hands and mouths on him.]
Roll over.
[he pats his hips playfully, one at a time.]
I want to kiss your back too.
[every inch of him deserves love. but there's mischief in minsu's eyes, the curve of his lips. there's more to it than that.]
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for the joy that permeates being in his presence to remain, even in the more intense and intimate moments. ]
Okay, handsome.
[ he rolls over, glancing over his shoulder. ]
I'm all yours.
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he so badly wanted for it to be real, for it to actually mean something. now he knows that it does.
he blinks after junsu glances back, laughs and blushes because he knows he's been caught staring. minsu crawls up closer to him, chest lightly pressing against his back as he drops a kiss to junsu's shoulder first.]
I'm proud to call you all mine. It's probably the first time I've been proud of something in my whole life.
[minsu moves, pressing another kiss to the top of his spine. a hand smooths along his skin as he works his way down, some of the kisses wet, tongue tasting his skin. his ass almost gets a little bite, but then minsu lets go and kisses there too. he reaches up, dragging one of the spare pillows down to work under junsu's hips.]
I love the way you taste when I do this. [minsu slides his hands over the soft flesh, spreads him a little before leaning his head down to lick up him.] You're so hot inside. I've never wanted to make someone come from just my tongue.
[he smiles a little, because maybe less talking and more doing, but he can't help himself. he wants to share everything with junsu, body and thoughts at once.]
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