I know you and I haven't really gone off on the best foot, and I'm sorry about that, I'm sorry I was not good enough, but
I beg of you
Don't hurt him.
[ If Junsu wasn't human, the words would be a lot harsher. There would be no pleading. But Junsu's human, and Junsu's soft inside. Hojin is just - terrified, in a way he's never been before. ]
I didn't - understand. I wasn't able to read you the right way.
[ Not like Joon did. ]
I should have been more careful.
[ He's still not used to speaking to adults much. It's a whole new world, for him, and he's finding that he's honestly, pretty terrible at it.
It's hard not to type why can't you like me like that too afterwards, but he refrains, even if he has to shake one of his hands to stop the electricity he feels crackling there.
He's going to have to do something about that, and soon. ]
trying being the operative word. it's okay, junsu. you don't have to coddle me. i get that i fucked up. if i can make it up to you, i will. otherwise, i'll let my brother take care of you. he seems to be doing it better than i can.
[ He's not precious to you like he is to Hojin, Junsu. There are different kinds of love, but the one between the twins is something else.
He doesn't say that, though. It's not very fair, only because Junsu doesn't hurt when Joon hurts. ]
i just want you to know. don't turn your back on him if he pushes you away. if you really like him, then. don't give up on him. he's very good at being self-sacrificial.
[ Jin's divulging things that Joon would kill him for divulging. But Joon's happiness matters more than his pride. ]
[ what he gets is that joon is pushing him away. what he gets is that junsu should be self sacrificial in joon's stead, then, and let him do that and stick with him even if it hurts. even if he's frustrated and kind of angry.
if you really like him, jin says. junsu has enough of really liking people and being self sacrificial and hurting so they don't have to. ]
[ he wants to ask him what he's supposed to do. if he's supposed to just let joon hurt him. but he'll deal with that with hojoon, he'll talk to him himself. it's not fair to put that on hojin. ]
[ That's when he knows that he fucked up. Again. His heart and his stomach twist, painfully, as he looks at the message. Sure, he's used to kids, but he's also far from being an idiot.
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I beg of you
Don't hurt him.
[ If Junsu wasn't human, the words would be a lot harsher. There would be no pleading. But Junsu's human, and Junsu's soft inside. Hojin is just - terrified, in a way he's never been before. ]
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i think we did okay. i kind of cry at anything so dont take it too personally. what do you mean about being good enough?
im not going to. i like him a lot
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[ Not like Joon did. ]
I should have been more careful.
[ He's still not used to speaking to adults much. It's a whole new world, for him, and he's finding that he's honestly, pretty terrible at it.
It's hard not to type why can't you like me like that too afterwards, but he refrains, even if he has to shake one of his hands to stop the electricity he feels crackling there.
He's going to have to do something about that, and soon. ]
can you promise?
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i promise, hojin. i promise i wont hurt him
do you... do you think i will? is that it?
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i don't think you want to, i believe you don't want to. but joon is
[ None of the words that come up to him are the right ones. They don't fit what he wants to say. ]
he's just very precious to me, and he's a little scared.
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i know what its like to be scared. he's precious to me too
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[ He's not precious to you like he is to Hojin, Junsu. There are different kinds of love, but the one between the twins is something else.
He doesn't say that, though. It's not very fair, only because Junsu doesn't hurt when Joon hurts. ]
i just want you to know. don't turn your back on him if he pushes you away. if you really like him, then. don't give up on him. he's very good at being self-sacrificial.
[ Jin's divulging things that Joon would kill him for divulging. But Joon's happiness matters more than his pride. ]
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okay. i get it
[ what he gets is that joon is pushing him away. what he gets is that junsu should be self sacrificial in joon's stead, then, and let him do that and stick with him even if it hurts. even if he's frustrated and kind of angry.
if you really like him, jin says. junsu has enough of really liking people and being self sacrificial and hurting so they don't have to. ]
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he's a really. really good person, you know. and i'm rooting for you guys.
[ Even if it hurts a little bit. ]
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yeah
thanks
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Fuck. Joon is going to kill him. ]