I want to be better with Ten. And I think Hojoon will get there too. It just kind of takes an adjustment period, when you love someone so much and you know they love you, but they love someone else too, and you aren't really used to that so much.
[ junsu looks relieved, but a bit sheepish, too. it feels like a lot to let go of at once, but he's glad they're doing this. if they were both feeling things like this, it's good to air them out and clear things up between them.
so they can be even stronger. ]
I know. I think rationally I know you would be there for me if I needed you, and that Ten wouldn't be upset with you either, it's just... Yeah. It wasn't very rational. I just felt like I had no one else. It feels more balanced to me now, and I get it more now too.
[ now that he has kwang and hojoon, he knows what it's like to have two boyfriends you adore, and how different these relationships and feelings are, but how one isn't above the other. ]
Hojoon... he's special to me. Really special. But so are you, okay? I love you. And I trust you. Magic and wings or not. I promise I'll be careful, but I also know... you're in control. You've been through so much and you're still someone so kind and gentle.
[ he takes kwang's face in both his hands, gentle. ]
Can you promise me something in exchange? If you ever feel that pull, like you can't resist what they offer you... Talk to me? Or Ten, or both of us. If there are days it's harder to bear them, we're here for you.
[ It feels overwhelming, to let it all out like this, instead of piece by piece. But it's reassuring, too. Kwang didn't realize he'd ben harboring these fears and doubts for a little while, and it feels good to be able to let them out, to hear Junsu's reassurances. ]
I definitely understand. [ Kwang smiles, a little sheepish, too. ] I wouldn't have had these worries, if I didn't understand. I'm adjusting too, in a way. And I'll have to adjust a little more, if you and Ten grow even closer. Which, I'd definitely like, but it'll change things again.
[ He's not fooling himself about that. But he's quite excited by the prospect, rather than worried. As long as they don't take off together and leave him in the dust, obviously, which - eh. The thought makes him smile. ]
I wasn't always, you know? Kind and gentle. I've done a lot of shitty things, out of anger, and fear, and pain. But that's exactly why I want to be better now.
[ He leans into the touch, pushing his cheek against one of Junsu's palms, and he nods. ]
I will. The other day, actually, it - for some reason, they felt worse than usual. You were both busy, but I crossed paths with Dal, who touched me, and. [ Kwang closes his eyes, exhaling softly. ] He took the pain away, for a while. It helped. And then I took them out, and Hojoon saw me.
I think we've all done shitty things. [ they've lived a war, after all. junsu doesn't hold any of those things against them. and kwang... he's lived a long life, and it's been it's own kind of war to survive this far.
he gets it. he doesn't think it makes kwang a bad person to have done bad things. ]
He took your pain away? Wow. [ it's awed. and he's jealous, too, because he's just human, and he can't do something as incredible and amazing as relieving his boyfriend of his pain like that. he would give anything to be able to. ] I'm glad you got to feel better for a while.
[ he means it. his jealousy doesn't prevent him from seeing how good this is for kwang, that maybe he'll go to dal for it again. junsu hopes he does. so he can feel a little better when it's at it's worst. ]
[ Kwang has lived through many wars. This latest one is not even the worst he's lived through, and definitely not the one where he's done the shittiest things. But it's the kind of things he just can't seem to find a way to talk about.
Kwang nods, eyes still closed. He doesn't hear the jealousy in Junsu's voice, and if he did, he would easily explain how he doesn't need Junsu to have magic powers to take his pain away. Junsu does it, just by being here, with him. ]
I feel better now. [ Kwang says, softly. ] Just being here with you. I can barely feel them when I'm with you.
[ He prefers this, honestly. As grateful he is for Dal and the help he gave him, Kwang would much rather relax in Junsu's arms. He sighs softly, swaying forward into Junsu's arms. ]
He did. He helped me back into the house afterwards. I think he thought them beautiful. It was strange, because I'm so used to having to keep my distances, but he. He doesn't need to be careful about that, he could touch my wings.
Good. I want — if I could, I would take that pain away from you and bear it myself. So if I help at all... I'm glad.
[ he wants to be that for him. good, a relief, freedom from pain. his arms go around him, holding kwang against his chest and nosing into his hair. he feels better around kwang too. more like a person, less like a mess. less confused, frustrated by his own feelings, and instead calm and knowing he can figure it out and things will work out.
he hums softly. ]
Course he thought they were beautiful. [ and it must be amazing for kwang to have found someone who isn't hurt by his proximity alone in that situation. ] That's true, he can handle hot, can't he?
[ Kwang swallows hard, shaking his head. He knows what Junsu means, because it's what he does himself - he'd rather bear people's pain than see them suffer, especially people he loves, so it's not like he can say anything to that, but the idea of seeing Junsu in pain is. Not something Kwang is really willing to do. He's hurt him enough.
Kwang sways ever closer, arms wrapping around Junsu's waist, pressing his nose against his boyfriend's collarbone, just relishing in his presence.
Kwang chuckles, pulling back to look up at Junsu with a crooked grin. ]
Well, he can handle you, so he can definitely handle hot.
[ junsu lets out a cry of playful indignation at the pun, squeezing kwang into his arms and against him with a laugh. ]
That was both amazing and terrible. That takes skill.
[ and he really appreciates the compliment. he's never really found himself hideous, or anything, but to hear someone like kwang talk about him like that... it makes his heart race and his face feel hot.
kwang is so, so handsome, and gorgeous, and when he looks at junsu he sees that in him. ]
[ Kwang laughs in answer, muffling it in the crook of Junsu's neck. It feels good to laugh, after such a heavy, if necessary conversation. ]
What can I say, guess I'm just that good.
[ And he'd agree, in that he doesn't find himself hideous, and he cares about the way he looks, but he still feels like Junsu is miles ahead of him. He pulls back to be able to look at him, those crinkling eyes and full lips and cute nose, and he leans in for a chaste kiss, unable to help himself. ]
Anytime, babe. Seriously, you need an ego boost? I'm your guy.
[ junsu laughs too, then sobers up a little, but his expression is soft. ]
You really are so nice to me. This is so nice.
[ it's hard to remember kwang is his boyfriend in a concrete way, sometimes. because he's not been anyone's boyfriend in so long, and even back then maybe a part of him never really believed it was a real, lasting thing.
this feels real and lasting. and he's reminded that kwang is his boyfriend and he is kwang's boyfriend when they talk like this and make each other feel good with their words and do things like pretty up a tree house to be together, all alone. ]
[ Kwang runs his fingers through Junsu's hair, leaning back a little with his free hand on the blanket behind him, giving himself the opportunity to look his fill. Junsu still has insecurities about him, and Kwang knows it, even if he wishes he could shore it all up easily, with looks and words and promises. It's the kind of thing that takes time, and he knows it, he's patient, and every day he'll keep showing Junsu that he does love him, with everything he is made of.
Kwang smiles, thumb brushing Junsu's cheek. ]
You're welcome. Not that it was entirely selfless, mind you.
[ he does show junsu every day. most of the insecurities are less tied to kwang and a lot more tied to junsu himself,these days. those are harder to get rid of, more insidious.
he knows kwang loves him but being reminded still takes his breath away sometimes. ]
[ Just like it’s okay for Junsu to want him alone, too. Kwang surges up, fitting their mouths together in a searing kiss, hoping to say all the things he doesn’t always have the words for in it. His hand slides to the back of Junsu’s neck, and when he pulls back, a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. ]
This weekend, it’s just about us, yeah? Let me take care of you. Worship you a little.
[ the words make junsu flush slightly, excited to do this, eager to see what kwang has in store. it can be hard to let go and let himself be worshipped, hard to be vulnerable some days, but with kwang it's never difficult. it's so easy to sink into it. ]
[ Kang lets out a pleased noise, his kisses traveling down to Junsu's jaw, his neck, taking his time with it. His hands move to Junsu's sides, still over his clothes. When he talks again, it's against Junsu's skin, as he kisses his way up to lick at his earlobe. ]
[ junsu lies down after getting a bit distracted by kwang's tongue at his earlobe. a noise escapes him, then he's lying down, eyeing kwang with a soft smile and pleasantly flushed cheeks. ]
[ Kwang grins, hands sliding down to rest on Junsu's thighs when he lies down. He licks his lips, thumbs running circles over the fabric of his boyfriend's jeans, feeling the muscUlar thighs underneath. ]
Let's see. I'm going to start by undressing you. I think I'm going to take it slow. And then I'm going to go down on you. You want to come in my mouth? Maybe I'll rim you a bit, too. Wrap those amazing thighs of yours around my head, see how long you can take it before you beg for more. How does that sound?
[ junsu's squirming already, and a bit red faced, but only because he wants this so much, and because kwang is so hot and beautiful and his voice is so nice and then he's saying all these nice things... ]
[ Kwang smiles, pleased with the response. It's only where he wants to start, but it feels important for him to follow through, and take care of Junsu, tell him without so many words as earlier just how important he is. So, so important.
He starts with Junsu's shirt, as he mentioned, undressing him slowly and not leaving it at that. Once he's got Junsu's shirt off, he's wrapping his lips around Junsu's nipples, one after the other, kissing his way down his chest slowly and surely, tasting his skin, not wanting to miss an inch of it.
As he does this, as he kisses his way all over Junsu's chest, his hands take care of his boyfriend's pants, tugging them down his legs bit by bit until Junsu is able to kick them off. At this point, Kwang is kissing Junsu's stomach, and he looks up, smiling. ]
[ junsu's writhing and moaning increases with each article of clothing that leaves him, with each touch of kwang's mouth. he kicks off his pants in a flash, but doesn't rush kwang at all beyond that touch of impatience.
the point is basking in each other, so he's going to let kwang take his time.
Mmm. I could take a million pictures and never get bored.
[ He drags his hands down along Junsu's thighs, fingers sliding inside the legs of his boxers. Kwang could grab his phone from the jacket he bundled himself in on his way to the treehouse, that he's left in a corner, but it would never do Junsu justice, not right now. He hums again instead, nipping lightly at a hipbone. ]
When I have my good camera. Can't bear not to be touching you, right now.
[ And then he's mouthing at Junsu's cock through his underwear, leaving damp patches when he presses his tongue to the fabric. ]
[ junsu gasps at the contact of kwang's mouth, then giggles breathlessly. his fingers card through his hair, and his hips squirm but he stays relatively still. ]
[ Kwang just hums in answer, but he’s grinning, working his mouth over Junsu’s cock to feel it grow harder, not pulling his underwear down just yet, taking his time with it to tease a little, to make the very most of the time they have and of this moment he’s been allowed control. He’s not here to abuse it, he just wants his boyfriend to be a melted puddle of pure pleasure before too long, and that’s what he’s working towards.
And if he can make Junsu beg a little, too, well. That’s a bonus.
His fingers slip further inside Junsu’s boxers, moving up the inside of his thigh, until he’s grazing his balls, and then moving lower still, only just teasing, barely there touches. ]
[ junsu's not one to keep himself quiet, even when he's being teased like this, but his reactions are a little more subtle than if kwang was to go all out. they're still there, though, his fingers curling and uncurling in his hair, the slight squirm of his hips, the twisting of the sheets where his feet dig in, the breathless little moans.
[ While listening intently to Junsu’s every noise, Kwang doesn’t quicken the pace just yet. He scrapes his teeth very lightly over the underside of Junsu’s hard cock in his underwear, fingers pushing further in to fondle him a little, and then even moves up again to kiss Junsu’s stomach, breathing hard against his skin and leaving a damp trail.
He looks up at Junsu’s words, feeling so entirely devoted to him, and his pleasure. ]
No more, since you’re done.
[ And so he moves, hands slipping out to pull at Junsu’s underwear, his mouth immediately wrapping around Junsu’s erection as he keeps undressing him at the same time. He’s no tease. ]
[ junsu shivers, all anticipation and eagerness, and then lets out a soft little cry when kwang's mouth is finally on him. he moans, too, something that might have been kwang's name, helping him rid him of his clothes as best as he can without wriggling his hips too much.
he doesn't mean or want to rush kwang. not when this feels so good, when his mouth is perfect. ]
Better, [ he mumbles, lips quirking, hoping to amuse kwang a little. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ junsu looks relieved, but a bit sheepish, too. it feels like a lot to let go of at once, but he's glad they're doing this. if they were both feeling things like this, it's good to air them out and clear things up between them.
so they can be even stronger. ]
I know. I think rationally I know you would be there for me if I needed you, and that Ten wouldn't be upset with you either, it's just... Yeah. It wasn't very rational. I just felt like I had no one else. It feels more balanced to me now, and I get it more now too.
[ now that he has kwang and hojoon, he knows what it's like to have two boyfriends you adore, and how different these relationships and feelings are, but how one isn't above the other. ]
Hojoon... he's special to me. Really special. But so are you, okay? I love you. And I trust you. Magic and wings or not. I promise I'll be careful, but I also know... you're in control. You've been through so much and you're still someone so kind and gentle.
[ he takes kwang's face in both his hands, gentle. ]
Can you promise me something in exchange? If you ever feel that pull, like you can't resist what they offer you... Talk to me? Or Ten, or both of us. If there are days it's harder to bear them, we're here for you.
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I definitely understand. [ Kwang smiles, a little sheepish, too. ] I wouldn't have had these worries, if I didn't understand. I'm adjusting too, in a way. And I'll have to adjust a little more, if you and Ten grow even closer. Which, I'd definitely like, but it'll change things again.
[ He's not fooling himself about that. But he's quite excited by the prospect, rather than worried. As long as they don't take off together and leave him in the dust, obviously, which - eh. The thought makes him smile. ]
I wasn't always, you know? Kind and gentle. I've done a lot of shitty things, out of anger, and fear, and pain. But that's exactly why I want to be better now.
[ He leans into the touch, pushing his cheek against one of Junsu's palms, and he nods. ]
I will. The other day, actually, it - for some reason, they felt worse than usual. You were both busy, but I crossed paths with Dal, who touched me, and. [ Kwang closes his eyes, exhaling softly. ] He took the pain away, for a while. It helped. And then I took them out, and Hojoon saw me.
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he gets it. he doesn't think it makes kwang a bad person to have done bad things. ]
He took your pain away? Wow. [ it's awed. and he's jealous, too, because he's just human, and he can't do something as incredible and amazing as relieving his boyfriend of his pain like that. he would give anything to be able to. ] I'm glad you got to feel better for a while.
[ he means it. his jealousy doesn't prevent him from seeing how good this is for kwang, that maybe he'll go to dal for it again. junsu hopes he does. so he can feel a little better when it's at it's worst. ]
He saw you? And your wings? What did he say?
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Kwang nods, eyes still closed. He doesn't hear the jealousy in Junsu's voice, and if he did, he would easily explain how he doesn't need Junsu to have magic powers to take his pain away. Junsu does it, just by being here, with him. ]
I feel better now. [ Kwang says, softly. ] Just being here with you. I can barely feel them when I'm with you.
[ He prefers this, honestly. As grateful he is for Dal and the help he gave him, Kwang would much rather relax in Junsu's arms. He sighs softly, swaying forward into Junsu's arms. ]
He did. He helped me back into the house afterwards. I think he thought them beautiful. It was strange, because I'm so used to having to keep my distances, but he. He doesn't need to be careful about that, he could touch my wings.
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[ he wants to be that for him. good, a relief, freedom from pain. his arms go around him, holding kwang against his chest and nosing into his hair. he feels better around kwang too. more like a person, less like a mess. less confused, frustrated by his own feelings, and instead calm and knowing he can figure it out and things will work out.
he hums softly. ]
Course he thought they were beautiful. [ and it must be amazing for kwang to have found someone who isn't hurt by his proximity alone in that situation. ] That's true, he can handle hot, can't he?
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Kwang sways ever closer, arms wrapping around Junsu's waist, pressing his nose against his boyfriend's collarbone, just relishing in his presence.
Kwang chuckles, pulling back to look up at Junsu with a crooked grin. ]
Well, he can handle you, so he can definitely handle hot.
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That was both amazing and terrible. That takes skill.
[ and he really appreciates the compliment. he's never really found himself hideous, or anything, but to hear someone like kwang talk about him like that... it makes his heart race and his face feel hot.
kwang is so, so handsome, and gorgeous, and when he looks at junsu he sees that in him. ]
Thanks for saying I'm hot, hottie.
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What can I say, guess I'm just that good.
[ And he'd agree, in that he doesn't find himself hideous, and he cares about the way he looks, but he still feels like Junsu is miles ahead of him. He pulls back to be able to look at him, those crinkling eyes and full lips and cute nose, and he leans in for a chaste kiss, unable to help himself. ]
Anytime, babe. Seriously, you need an ego boost? I'm your guy.
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You really are so nice to me. This is so nice.
[ it's hard to remember kwang is his boyfriend in a concrete way, sometimes. because he's not been anyone's boyfriend in so long, and even back then maybe a part of him never really believed it was a real, lasting thing.
this feels real and lasting. and he's reminded that kwang is his boyfriend and he is kwang's boyfriend when they talk like this and make each other feel good with their words and do things like pretty up a tree house to be together, all alone. ]
Thank you for this, baby.
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Kwang smiles, thumb brushing Junsu's cheek. ]
You're welcome. Not that it was entirely selfless, mind you.
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[ he does show junsu every day. most of the insecurities are less tied to kwang and a lot more tied to junsu himself,these days. those are harder to get rid of, more insidious.
he knows kwang loves him but being reminded still takes his breath away sometimes. ]
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[ Just like it’s okay for Junsu to want him alone, too. Kwang surges up, fitting their mouths together in a searing kiss, hoping to say all the things he doesn’t always have the words for in it. His hand slides to the back of Junsu’s neck, and when he pulls back, a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. ]
This weekend, it’s just about us, yeah? Let me take care of you. Worship you a little.
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Okay. I'm yours.
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Lie down for me?
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Tell me what you'll do to me?
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Let's see. I'm going to start by undressing you. I think I'm going to take it slow. And then I'm going to go down on you. You want to come in my mouth? Maybe I'll rim you a bit, too. Wrap those amazing thighs of yours around my head, see how long you can take it before you beg for more. How does that sound?
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[ junsu's squirming already, and a bit red faced, but only because he wants this so much, and because kwang is so hot and beautiful and his voice is so nice and then he's saying all these nice things... ]
Sounds perfect.
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He starts with Junsu's shirt, as he mentioned, undressing him slowly and not leaving it at that. Once he's got Junsu's shirt off, he's wrapping his lips around Junsu's nipples, one after the other, kissing his way down his chest slowly and surely, tasting his skin, not wanting to miss an inch of it.
As he does this, as he kisses his way all over Junsu's chest, his hands take care of his boyfriend's pants, tugging them down his legs bit by bit until Junsu is able to kick them off. At this point, Kwang is kissing Junsu's stomach, and he looks up, smiling. ]
If I could take a picture of you right now...
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the point is basking in each other, so he's going to let kwang take his time.
he flushes a bit. ]
You can. Anytime you want.
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[ He drags his hands down along Junsu's thighs, fingers sliding inside the legs of his boxers. Kwang could grab his phone from the jacket he bundled himself in on his way to the treehouse, that he's left in a corner, but it would never do Junsu justice, not right now. He hums again instead, nipping lightly at a hipbone. ]
When I have my good camera. Can't bear not to be touching you, right now.
[ And then he's mouthing at Junsu's cock through his underwear, leaving damp patches when he presses his tongue to the fabric. ]
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Really love your priorities, sweetie.
[ pictures later. more touching now. ]
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And if he can make Junsu beg a little, too, well. That’s a bonus.
His fingers slip further inside Junsu’s boxers, moving up the inside of his thigh, until he’s grazing his balls, and then moving lower still, only just teasing, barely there touches. ]
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some of those get whiny. ]
H-How long are you going to tease me for?
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He looks up at Junsu’s words, feeling so entirely devoted to him, and his pleasure. ]
No more, since you’re done.
[ And so he moves, hands slipping out to pull at Junsu’s underwear, his mouth immediately wrapping around Junsu’s erection as he keeps undressing him at the same time. He’s no tease. ]
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he doesn't mean or want to rush kwang. not when this feels so good, when his mouth is perfect. ]
Better, [ he mumbles, lips quirking, hoping to amuse kwang a little. ]
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