[it's okay. it's better if he stays where he is. this is a better place for him. if he can help someone as good as junsu escape the hell that is this prison, maybe it's the tiniest bit of penance towards the things he's done.
minsu opens his mouth to say all of these things. he wants junsu to escape and be happy, even if the loneliness will be a thousand times harder to bear even after such a short time knowing him.
but junsu says that he wants them to plan together, and there's such a longing in minsu's heart that the quickened pace of it drowns out his protests. he blinks at the sound of the guards approaching, hearing them before junsu does and moving away from him.]
They're coming to take you outside. I won't be mad if you change your mind!
[what right would minsu or anyone have to blame him. he watches as the men escort junsu out of the cell, and then out of the building, and goes over to the small window to watch him.]
minsu opens his mouth to say all of these things. he wants junsu to escape and be happy, even if the loneliness will be a thousand times harder to bear even after such a short time knowing him.
but junsu says that he wants them to plan together, and there's such a longing in minsu's heart that the quickened pace of it drowns out his protests. he blinks at the sound of the guards approaching, hearing them before junsu does and moving away from him.]
They're coming to take you outside. I won't be mad if you change your mind!
[what right would minsu or anyone have to blame him. he watches as the men escort junsu out of the cell, and then out of the building, and goes over to the small window to watch him.]
you can't really just let go. i mean, you can. you're supposed to! but it's more....purposeful too. sage had me start reading about tantric stuff, about being aware of your breathing and fully in the moment.
i'm not sure it really can be...at least not completely. maybe that's what sage was always worried about.
and you'll always be able to understand me, we're like peas in a pod.
i'm not sure it really can be...at least not completely. maybe that's what sage was always worried about.
and you'll always be able to understand me, we're like peas in a pod.
Don't feel guilty. Dal should get to live out his life, too.
[ junsu thinks it isn't fair that bam gets to more than dal, even though he doesn't think bam should just disappear either. he wanted them to get an equal chance to live, but dal was kind of reluctant to hear any advice or options when he tried.
he figures he might just not understand just how tricky it is for them, maybe.
but he wants myung happy, and he wants bam and dal to find a balance that works for them. ]
Maybe if you ask for three days you can strike a deal and Bam gets three days. Equivalent exchange.
[ junsu thinks it isn't fair that bam gets to more than dal, even though he doesn't think bam should just disappear either. he wanted them to get an equal chance to live, but dal was kind of reluctant to hear any advice or options when he tried.
he figures he might just not understand just how tricky it is for them, maybe.
but he wants myung happy, and he wants bam and dal to find a balance that works for them. ]
Maybe if you ask for three days you can strike a deal and Bam gets three days. Equivalent exchange.
[ Dal might be a lot more open to such suggestions, nowadays. He's a lot more willing to live, these days, and not just let Bam do it. But it's important to Dal to know that Bam is okay with it, whatever they agree on. ]
Three days? Wow, I was going to ask for like, a day, a day and a half.
[ He gives Junsu a look. ]
And I don't want Dal to be gone for three days afterwards. That'd suck. [ He hums. ] Gotta think about it. [ With another look, Myung raises an eyebrow. ]
Hey, so, have you told Joon I love you yet?
Three days? Wow, I was going to ask for like, a day, a day and a half.
[ He gives Junsu a look. ]
And I don't want Dal to be gone for three days afterwards. That'd suck. [ He hums. ] Gotta think about it. [ With another look, Myung raises an eyebrow. ]
Hey, so, have you told Joon I love you yet?
[ thats true. if he asks for a week with dal, he has to go a week without him, and that seems unlivable for junsu. he's sure it would be hard to live with for myung, too. ]
You'll figure it out. You're both crafty.
[ anyone who has survived this far is, really.
he smiles, looking down at his fingers. it makes his heart race to think about. and he wants to cover his face. and giggle. and he feels like a little girl. ]
Yeah. Hehe. On the camping trip.
You'll figure it out. You're both crafty.
[ anyone who has survived this far is, really.
he smiles, looking down at his fingers. it makes his heart race to think about. and he wants to cover his face. and giggle. and he feels like a little girl. ]
Yeah. Hehe. On the camping trip.
[ Myung nods, before he settles closer to Junsu, draping a leg over his, getting himself comfy as Junsu makes that face, looking so happy. ]
God, you’re cute.
[ And he is, and Myung is so glad things are working out. He used to think Junsu was this mysterious guy, and it made him even hotter, but as he learned to know him better, it became obvious just how soft he is, how gentle, how much he yearns for this kind of love.
Myung sighs contently, pressing his nose against the curve of Junsu’s shoulder. ]
Dal said I live you, too. [ He doesn’t know why he doesn’t say that they both said it. ]
God, you’re cute.
[ And he is, and Myung is so glad things are working out. He used to think Junsu was this mysterious guy, and it made him even hotter, but as he learned to know him better, it became obvious just how soft he is, how gentle, how much he yearns for this kind of love.
Myung sighs contently, pressing his nose against the curve of Junsu’s shoulder. ]
Dal said I live you, too. [ He doesn’t know why he doesn’t say that they both said it. ]
What, really? He did?
[ junsu laughs, delighted. he's not really surprised. just happy for them. he assumes it's a good thing, or this would've been the order of the day before myung's whining about not getting laid. ]
That's amazing. [ he slings an arm around myung's middle, tucking himself close against him. it feels pretty natural to do this, after all. they've been much closer before, and junsu's a touchy, affectionate person. ]
It's kind of huge, given he's not done much, right?
[ junsu laughs, delighted. he's not really surprised. just happy for them. he assumes it's a good thing, or this would've been the order of the day before myung's whining about not getting laid. ]
That's amazing. [ he slings an arm around myung's middle, tucking himself close against him. it feels pretty natural to do this, after all. they've been much closer before, and junsu's a touchy, affectionate person. ]
It's kind of huge, given he's not done much, right?
live? LIVE? gdi autocorrect that's why i shouldn't phone tag
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gunflowers
2018-11-20 08:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Myung hides his face in Junsu's neck, feeling his cheeks heat up. ]
And he's so - measured. He thinks about things very carefully before he speaks, you know? So I knew he had thought about those words for a while before saying it, and I believed it instantly. It's not like it's been before.
[ Like when Dae said it for the first time and Myung just took it as Dae teasing him. Dae being Dae, cute and effusive and too much sometimes. But Dal wasn't the same. He looks up. ]
I said it back. [ Which is even more of a big deal, all things considered. For Myung, anyway. ]
And he's so - measured. He thinks about things very carefully before he speaks, you know? So I knew he had thought about those words for a while before saying it, and I believed it instantly. It's not like it's been before.
[ Like when Dae said it for the first time and Myung just took it as Dae teasing him. Dae being Dae, cute and effusive and too much sometimes. But Dal wasn't the same. He looks up. ]
I said it back. [ Which is even more of a big deal, all things considered. For Myung, anyway. ]
You're cute too, you know.
[ he just has to say it, with the way myung is hiding against his neck. it's been easy, to go from what they were to this, because they were friends, too. not just sleeping together. junsu is relieved about that.
and even more relieved to hear myung is letting himself have this. it's good for him. junsu hopes letting someone love him will help him stay away from fights and hating himself and thinking about what dae did. ]
Hey, congrats. That's a big deal too.
[ he just has to say it, with the way myung is hiding against his neck. it's been easy, to go from what they were to this, because they were friends, too. not just sleeping together. junsu is relieved about that.
and even more relieved to hear myung is letting himself have this. it's good for him. junsu hopes letting someone love him will help him stay away from fights and hating himself and thinking about what dae did. ]
Hey, congrats. That's a big deal too.
[ In a way, it's the same relationship, just - one element taken out from it. Maybe Myung wasn't worried from the beginning because he's gone through it before. With Minsu, with Sage, with Jiho. He's managed with them, and he's managing with Junsu. ]
Mm. Yeah, it felt like it. But it felt easy, too. I didn't hesitate, not like I have before.
[ He nudges Junsu. ]
Hey, now that you're survival expert and all, you should take me camping. I've never been, and the military doesn't count.
Mm. Yeah, it felt like it. But it felt easy, too. I didn't hesitate, not like I have before.
[ He nudges Junsu. ]
Hey, now that you're survival expert and all, you should take me camping. I've never been, and the military doesn't count.
Then you know. You're sure of what you feel.
[ it's nice for that moment to be a nice one. junsu thinks sometimes about how his lie ruined it for him and kwang, how that first i love you became heartbreak. they're fine now, but he'll never get the first time they said that to each other back.
it's another reason he doesn't want to lie anymore. it ends up tainting things that should be wonderful in every way.
junsu wrinkles his nose, laughing and nudging myung right back. ]
Like I'm an expert for going once? I don't know anything about camping, baby, we'd just get lost out there.
[ it's nice for that moment to be a nice one. junsu thinks sometimes about how his lie ruined it for him and kwang, how that first i love you became heartbreak. they're fine now, but he'll never get the first time they said that to each other back.
it's another reason he doesn't want to lie anymore. it ends up tainting things that should be wonderful in every way.
junsu wrinkles his nose, laughing and nudging myung right back. ]
Like I'm an expert for going once? I don't know anything about camping, baby, we'd just get lost out there.
[ He nods, because he does know. It's strange and scary, but it's also such a certainty, in his head and in his heart. He hums, pursing his lips, his tone amused. ]
Really? What good are you to me, then?
Really? What good are you to me, then?
Bite me? You're spending way too much time with wild animals.
[ Myung just sounds endlessly fond, though, curled close and soaking in the warmth of Junsu's body. ]
Hmmm, Minsu? Ten? Rook? Hell, Dash? Endless possibilities. [ Myung almost adds something, there, but he realizes before it's too late that it would be unnecessarily cruel for him to say that. So he bites his tongue, especially because he doesn't mean it, and it could genuinely upset Junsu. No need for that when they're comfortable, right now. He closes his eyes, snuggling in. ]
But you're my favorite to whine to about not getting dick, I'll admit.
[ Myung just sounds endlessly fond, though, curled close and soaking in the warmth of Junsu's body. ]
Hmmm, Minsu? Ten? Rook? Hell, Dash? Endless possibilities. [ Myung almost adds something, there, but he realizes before it's too late that it would be unnecessarily cruel for him to say that. So he bites his tongue, especially because he doesn't mean it, and it could genuinely upset Junsu. No need for that when they're comfortable, right now. He closes his eyes, snuggling in. ]
But you're my favorite to whine to about not getting dick, I'll admit.
I want to be better with Ten. And I think Hojoon will get there too. It just kind of takes an adjustment period, when you love someone so much and you know they love you, but they love someone else too, and you aren't really used to that so much.
[ junsu looks relieved, but a bit sheepish, too. it feels like a lot to let go of at once, but he's glad they're doing this. if they were both feeling things like this, it's good to air them out and clear things up between them.
so they can be even stronger. ]
I know. I think rationally I know you would be there for me if I needed you, and that Ten wouldn't be upset with you either, it's just... Yeah. It wasn't very rational. I just felt like I had no one else. It feels more balanced to me now, and I get it more now too.
[ now that he has kwang and hojoon, he knows what it's like to have two boyfriends you adore, and how different these relationships and feelings are, but how one isn't above the other. ]
Hojoon... he's special to me. Really special. But so are you, okay? I love you. And I trust you. Magic and wings or not. I promise I'll be careful, but I also know... you're in control. You've been through so much and you're still someone so kind and gentle.
[ he takes kwang's face in both his hands, gentle. ]
Can you promise me something in exchange? If you ever feel that pull, like you can't resist what they offer you... Talk to me? Or Ten, or both of us. If there are days it's harder to bear them, we're here for you.
[ junsu looks relieved, but a bit sheepish, too. it feels like a lot to let go of at once, but he's glad they're doing this. if they were both feeling things like this, it's good to air them out and clear things up between them.
so they can be even stronger. ]
I know. I think rationally I know you would be there for me if I needed you, and that Ten wouldn't be upset with you either, it's just... Yeah. It wasn't very rational. I just felt like I had no one else. It feels more balanced to me now, and I get it more now too.
[ now that he has kwang and hojoon, he knows what it's like to have two boyfriends you adore, and how different these relationships and feelings are, but how one isn't above the other. ]
Hojoon... he's special to me. Really special. But so are you, okay? I love you. And I trust you. Magic and wings or not. I promise I'll be careful, but I also know... you're in control. You've been through so much and you're still someone so kind and gentle.
[ he takes kwang's face in both his hands, gentle. ]
Can you promise me something in exchange? If you ever feel that pull, like you can't resist what they offer you... Talk to me? Or Ten, or both of us. If there are days it's harder to bear them, we're here for you.
[ Dal might as well start writing a book of questions, since he has about a thousand new ones every single day. Taking a few at a time to people seems the way to go, which is what he has in mind when he sets out from his and Bam's room in the direction of Junsu's.
Is he clutching a notebook? Maybe.
Does he drop it in surprise when he rounds the corner and sees Myung and Junsu? No, he does not. But he does look sheepish and that sheepish expression does sort of disappear behind the notebook as he raises it to his face. ] Oh- sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt...
[ He's already doing an about face in the direction he came from when he starts speaking. ]
Is he clutching a notebook? Maybe.
Does he drop it in surprise when he rounds the corner and sees Myung and Junsu? No, he does not. But he does look sheepish and that sheepish expression does sort of disappear behind the notebook as he raises it to his face. ] Oh- sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt...
[ He's already doing an about face in the direction he came from when he starts speaking. ]
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