[ this feels more awful than he imagined. he thinks back to what kwang had said on their date and he feels sick, disgusted with himself for not coming clean back then. he'd wanted to keep this memory filled with light and touches and books and coffee and he prioritized that over how kwang might feel.

prioritized himself, too afraid to face his own choices and actions and be honest about them. now there was a possibility kwang wouldn't forgive him. junsu wouldn't blame him.

he's crying again, and he hates that he is because it makes him look like he's doing it on purpose, when he's just heartbroken to be hurting kwang like this and heartbroken he might lose him. ]

I'm sorry. I love you, I — This wasn't about hiding it from you, it wasn't against you, I've been lying about this since the war. I don't — I didn't want to hurt you.

[ he takes in a shaky breath, head hanging and wiping at his face with his arms. ]

I'm not magic. I'm just... human.