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It's kind of a blur.
[ he was so scared, he doesn't even remember if he was charged with anything, if they used justice or just rumours and claims. all he can remember is being terrified, more than ever before, like the war was back. ]
Blabbed I wasn't human around too many ears, I guess. Maybe someone told on me, or maybe someone I asked for shelter was undercover.
[ he shrugs, hands curled around his coffee cup. ]
Doesn't really matter. I'm out of there now.
[ he was so scared, he doesn't even remember if he was charged with anything, if they used justice or just rumours and claims. all he can remember is being terrified, more than ever before, like the war was back. ]
Blabbed I wasn't human around too many ears, I guess. Maybe someone told on me, or maybe someone I asked for shelter was undercover.
[ he shrugs, hands curled around his coffee cup. ]
Doesn't really matter. I'm out of there now.
I'm sorry.
[ Sorry that he drudged up bad memories, that Junsu had to go through it at all. That he'd had to face untrustworthy people, and how it must have changed his perception of everyone. ]
For what it's worth, I know the feeling. Of being imprisoned. So if you ever need an understanding ear, I'm here.
[ His look is serious and intent. ]
And you're safe, now.
[ Sorry that he drudged up bad memories, that Junsu had to go through it at all. That he'd had to face untrustworthy people, and how it must have changed his perception of everyone. ]
For what it's worth, I know the feeling. Of being imprisoned. So if you ever need an understanding ear, I'm here.
[ His look is serious and intent. ]
And you're safe, now.
[ he's definitely better now that he has more room to work with. junsu didn't think he'd been bad before, either. he arches against his hand, as much as he dares without pushing myung off his thigh. he wants him to stay there. it's hot, feeling his erection against his leg like that, knowing myung is getting off to this too.
he doesn't have to worry about being unfocused or junsu feeling good. ]
I do — fuck, Myung. [ his face is flushed, body tense and a little squirmy, on edge. he can't seem to know where to put his hands. it feels good, good enough he doesn't want to hold off, wants to come rather than resist. but he wants something else too. ]
I want to see you get off too.
he doesn't have to worry about being unfocused or junsu feeling good. ]
I do — fuck, Myung. [ his face is flushed, body tense and a little squirmy, on edge. he can't seem to know where to put his hands. it feels good, good enough he doesn't want to hold off, wants to come rather than resist. but he wants something else too. ]
I want to see you get off too.
[ Myung bites his lip, a little harder than strictly necessary, eyes very heavy lidded as he looks at Junsu, jerks him off slow and steady. He wants to be doing just this until Junsu comes, but - sex is a give and take, not just one or the other, and so Myung takes a deep breath, pulling back just enough to chuck his shirt over his head, and pull his sweats down enough to expose himself, before his hand is back on Junsu. ]
You wanna - touch me? Please. Please.
[ It's a give and take, and Myung wants to get off, too. ]
You wanna - touch me? Please. Please.
[ It's a give and take, and Myung wants to get off, too. ]
Yeah. I'm safe now.
[ he nods, smiling a bit. he prefers thinking about that than his time in jail. he doesn't mention it often for a reason, because thinking about it makes him feel boxed in again, because being that terrified in such an enclosed, suffocating space had been a living nightmare.
and it's over. why would he linger on it? he smiles a bit, taking another sip of coffee before speaking gently. ]
You've been imprisoned before?
[ he nods, smiling a bit. he prefers thinking about that than his time in jail. he doesn't mention it often for a reason, because thinking about it makes him feel boxed in again, because being that terrified in such an enclosed, suffocating space had been a living nightmare.
and it's over. why would he linger on it? he smiles a bit, taking another sip of coffee before speaking gently. ]
You've been imprisoned before?
[ Kwang's mouth goes a little dry. Even though he invited the question, it's still a hard one to answer, to think back on. He takes a deep breath, looking down at his coffee, and then back up at Junsu, nodding. ]
I have. By the one who gave me -
[ He motions to his back, telling without any words. Junsu knows. He's seen the wounds. ]
He was. Insane, really. But also an excellent liar, and I fell for it hook, line and sinker, when we first met. But his true nature was very different than what he'd shown me before. But by the time I realized that, it was too late.
I have. By the one who gave me -
[ He motions to his back, telling without any words. Junsu knows. He's seen the wounds. ]
He was. Insane, really. But also an excellent liar, and I fell for it hook, line and sinker, when we first met. But his true nature was very different than what he'd shown me before. But by the time I realized that, it was too late.
[ jesus. junsu's face falls a little, and he reaches for kwang's hand. he swallows back any fear, kicked up by his words, by how they could be applied to junsu, too. of course it's different, of course he would never want to hurt kwang, but now he sees why kwang might have a harder time with junsu's truth, if it was to ever come out.
still. mostly, his heart hurts. for kwang. ]
I'm sorry.
still. mostly, his heart hurts. for kwang. ]
I'm sorry.
[ he never thought he could make someone proud like that. never thought he wanted to, really. before minsu all he'd wanted was to find someone who would be good to him and keep him safe and make sure he would survive this ordeal. it didn't matter how he felt about them as long as they could provide that.
minsu provides something else. something that makes junsu feel full, and alive, and stronger than he's felt in a very long time. ]
M'proud too, [ he mumbles against the crook of his arm before turning his head, looking back. ] You're the... best person I know. Magic, baby.
[ he gasps as much at minsu's words as the sensation of his tongue over him, fingers curling into the sheets, the other in his own hair. ]
Please, Minsu — [ he wants that, wants minsu to take him apart with his tongue only. he shifts back, wanting more. ]
minsu provides something else. something that makes junsu feel full, and alive, and stronger than he's felt in a very long time. ]
M'proud too, [ he mumbles against the crook of his arm before turning his head, looking back. ] You're the... best person I know. Magic, baby.
[ he gasps as much at minsu's words as the sensation of his tongue over him, fingers curling into the sheets, the other in his own hair. ]
Please, Minsu — [ he wants that, wants minsu to take him apart with his tongue only. he shifts back, wanting more. ]
[ His fingers squeeze Junsu's, and he shakes his head, smiling, a little sadly. ]
In a way, I feel like it was necessary? It led me to the life I now lead. If it hadn't happened, where would I be now? I don't know. But I like being here. I like being with you.
In a way, I feel like it was necessary? It led me to the life I now lead. If it hadn't happened, where would I be now? I don't know. But I like being here. I like being with you.
[ the smile this causes is bashful, almost shy. it's nice to hear something like that. even on a date, it takes him a little by surprise. it scares him, too, but he's greedy and selfish and right now doesn't want to think about why.
only soak in the words, and kwang's warm hand against his. ]
I like being with you too. This has been... [ he can't even say a good date. it's the best date. ] The best.
only soak in the words, and kwang's warm hand against his. ]
I like being with you too. This has been... [ he can't even say a good date. it's the best date. ] The best.
[ Not willing to let go of Junsu's hand, Kwang uses his free one to take another sip of coffee. There's a lot he'd like to say, about how he'd like to protect Junsu from any potential harm that could come his way and how he wants to keep making him smile like this, and smile more, more open and happy every day.
But all of it feels either too much, or like he'd ruin the mood of the date. So he keeps it all down for now, just smiles at Junsu, ridiculously pleased that his date idea went down well. ]
I'm glad. I'm sorry we couldn't find the book you wanted, though, but I might have an idea on how to get it somewhere else. [ He's not telling you just yet, though. He's making plans in his head, right now. ]
Also, I won't lie. I wanted to do a lot more than just kiss you, back there.
But all of it feels either too much, or like he'd ruin the mood of the date. So he keeps it all down for now, just smiles at Junsu, ridiculously pleased that his date idea went down well. ]
I'm glad. I'm sorry we couldn't find the book you wanted, though, but I might have an idea on how to get it somewhere else. [ He's not telling you just yet, though. He's making plans in his head, right now. ]
Also, I won't lie. I wanted to do a lot more than just kiss you, back there.
[ It's been more than a few days since their date. Not that they haven't seen each other in between, but Kwang had been busy at work getting things sorted for Junsu. He wanted to get him something - not to be even after Junsu bought him books, but because he wanted him to have something he could keep, that'd remind him of Kwang.
It felt sort of important, especially with... everything else, that was swirling in Kwang's head. All the things he wanted to do and say to Junsu and wasn't always sure how to. Maybe this would help.
And so here he was, walking into Junsu's room after knocking, hands behind his back and a secret smile on his face. ]
Hey. Hope I'm not bothering you? I've got - something for you.
[ Kwang isn't exactly great at giving presents. Which is why he thrusts it forward immediately, the first edition book wrapped in brown paper. ] Didn't have anything better to wrap it in, sorry.
It felt sort of important, especially with... everything else, that was swirling in Kwang's head. All the things he wanted to do and say to Junsu and wasn't always sure how to. Maybe this would help.
And so here he was, walking into Junsu's room after knocking, hands behind his back and a secret smile on his face. ]
Hey. Hope I'm not bothering you? I've got - something for you.
[ Kwang isn't exactly great at giving presents. Which is why he thrusts it forward immediately, the first edition book wrapped in brown paper. ] Didn't have anything better to wrap it in, sorry.
[ junsu blinks as the wrapped gift is thrust toward him, taking it carefully from kwang's hands. he's happy to see him, and a little pleased to be receiving a gift, even if he's a little confused. ]
For me? What's the occasion?
[ he smiles, bemused, as he gestures kwang back inside the room. he hopes kwang didn't intend to just leave this here and go — junsu wants him to stay a while now. he's opening that thing in front of him!
in fact, he's already unwrapping before he sits, and then he has to sit.
because it's the book. and he can tell it's old. he can tell it's priceless. when he looks up to kwang again, his eyes are wide, wet. this can't be for him. ]
You're giving this to me?
For me? What's the occasion?
[ he smiles, bemused, as he gestures kwang back inside the room. he hopes kwang didn't intend to just leave this here and go — junsu wants him to stay a while now. he's opening that thing in front of him!
in fact, he's already unwrapping before he sits, and then he has to sit.
because it's the book. and he can tell it's old. he can tell it's priceless. when he looks up to kwang again, his eyes are wide, wet. this can't be for him. ]
You're giving this to me?
No occasion. Not really.
[ It's true; Kwang's never been one to try and stick to only special times to give presents. But this one matters even more, because they've been looking for it together, and Kwang had to dig deep to actually find the strength to ask Rook, of all people, to get this for him.
It was worth it, for this reaction. Kwang smiles, his insides twisted up in knots, almost worried that Junsu will refuse it. He steps closer, folding himself down to his knees in front of Junsu, reminiscent of the first time they ever were intimate, only - completely different. ]
Yeah. I'm sorry, is it too much? I've got something else, too, actually, but. You said you wanted to read it and I had an idea on how to get it, so -
[ He clamps his mouth shut, realizing he's starting to babble. ]
I wanted you to have something that'd remind you of me.
[ It's true; Kwang's never been one to try and stick to only special times to give presents. But this one matters even more, because they've been looking for it together, and Kwang had to dig deep to actually find the strength to ask Rook, of all people, to get this for him.
It was worth it, for this reaction. Kwang smiles, his insides twisted up in knots, almost worried that Junsu will refuse it. He steps closer, folding himself down to his knees in front of Junsu, reminiscent of the first time they ever were intimate, only - completely different. ]
Yeah. I'm sorry, is it too much? I've got something else, too, actually, but. You said you wanted to read it and I had an idea on how to get it, so -
[ He clamps his mouth shut, realizing he's starting to babble. ]
I wanted you to have something that'd remind you of me.
[ junsu is fine with not letting go of each other's hands. he doesn't really want to, right now. he doesn't talk about being imprisoned much, and neither of them went too detailed about it, but it's nice to know... he does get how it feels, the suffocating, claustrophobic way your mind shrinks when you think back on it.
it's good to know. he's glad to leave those thoughts behind, and he'll deal with the new layer of fear later. this date is too good to ruin. ]
It's okay. I liked looking with you.
[ he smiles, soft but cheeky, too. ]
I kind of wanted you to.
it's good to know. he's glad to leave those thoughts behind, and he'll deal with the new layer of fear later. this date is too good to ruin. ]
It's okay. I liked looking with you.
[ he smiles, soft but cheeky, too. ]
I kind of wanted you to.
More?
[ he almost splutters. it is a lot, almost too much, and to think there's more?
why is kwang giving him gifts? because he cares? junsu breathes in shakily, trying not to let those questions make him paranoid. maybe it's a parting gift. maybe he and ten decided they'd be exclusive. maybe it's none of that, but maybe in the future it'll be awful if his secret ever gets out and kwang finds out.
he doesn't want to hurt him. that's how he knows he loves kwang, because he's not thinking about his own safety or well being, but kwang's. he doesn't want to be lying to him if he's going to do things like this for him. but it's so scary to think of the alternative.
he shakes his head, fingers reverent on the cover of the book, wrapping paper forgotten. ]
Kwang, baby, this is already... It's priceless.
[ he almost splutters. it is a lot, almost too much, and to think there's more?
why is kwang giving him gifts? because he cares? junsu breathes in shakily, trying not to let those questions make him paranoid. maybe it's a parting gift. maybe he and ten decided they'd be exclusive. maybe it's none of that, but maybe in the future it'll be awful if his secret ever gets out and kwang finds out.
he doesn't want to hurt him. that's how he knows he loves kwang, because he's not thinking about his own safety or well being, but kwang's. he doesn't want to be lying to him if he's going to do things like this for him. but it's so scary to think of the alternative.
he shakes his head, fingers reverent on the cover of the book, wrapping paper forgotten. ]
Kwang, baby, this is already... It's priceless.
[ It's not really something that Kwang likes to think back on too much, either. And if he does, in a place like this, full of humans and incredibly public, he runs a pretty huge risk if he keeps on talking about it. Talking about Xylnan tended to make the wings want to come out, and, well.
He can't do that in the middle of a coffee shop, now, can he?
So really, talking about having public sex is a safer topic. Funny how that goes.
Still, his voice is very soft and low when he speaks next, his smile very knowing. ]
If it'd been just us... I'd gone on my knees, right there and then. Push you back against a shelf full of books as I go down on you.
He can't do that in the middle of a coffee shop, now, can he?
So really, talking about having public sex is a safer topic. Funny how that goes.
Still, his voice is very soft and low when he speaks next, his smile very knowing. ]
If it'd been just us... I'd gone on my knees, right there and then. Push you back against a shelf full of books as I go down on you.
[ Kwang smiles, nodding. ]
Yeah, more. It's just - it's not much at all.
[ They're definitely not parting gifts. They're everything but - they're gifts for Junsu to want to spend more time with Kwang, to have physical representations of how much Kwang cares. A way for him to show his love, by giving Junsu what he loves the most.
He reaches down into his pocket, taking out his second present, the necklace just a thin leather cord, on which is dangling a little charm. He lifts it to Junsu's head and puts it around his neck, the bottle resting against his sternum. ]
I thought of you reading and getting so lost in it you don't even realize the sun has set until you're straining to see. And if you didn't want to turn on lights, you could use this. All you have to do to activate it is hold it in your hand for a few seconds, warm it up. And then it'll light up.
[ His smile turns a little shy as he looks between the book, the necklace, and Junsu's face. ] I thought you could use it, as you read to me. If you wanted to.
[ Most definitely not a parting gift. ]
Yeah, more. It's just - it's not much at all.
[ They're definitely not parting gifts. They're everything but - they're gifts for Junsu to want to spend more time with Kwang, to have physical representations of how much Kwang cares. A way for him to show his love, by giving Junsu what he loves the most.
He reaches down into his pocket, taking out his second present, the necklace just a thin leather cord, on which is dangling a little charm. He lifts it to Junsu's head and puts it around his neck, the bottle resting against his sternum. ]
I thought of you reading and getting so lost in it you don't even realize the sun has set until you're straining to see. And if you didn't want to turn on lights, you could use this. All you have to do to activate it is hold it in your hand for a few seconds, warm it up. And then it'll light up.
[ His smile turns a little shy as he looks between the book, the necklace, and Junsu's face. ] I thought you could use it, as you read to me. If you wanted to.
[ Most definitely not a parting gift. ]
[ oh. it's beautiful, and thoughtful, and a piece of magic for him to carry around everywhere, and he's never had that, and it's a piece of kwang, really, and that makes it mean even more, and coupled with the book and wanting junsu to read to him — well, junsu might be crying. the welling up in his eyes spills down his cheeks and he wipes at it quickly, looking down at the the little bottle against his chest and then lifting it so gently. ]
It's beautiful. Thank you.
[ he wipes at his cheeks again, feeling silly, but the thought that he'll get to carry a piece of kwang and a piece of magic with him is overwhelming. ]
I'll use it well while we read, [ he nods with a smile, a soft, watery laugh. not a parting gift. kwang isn't about to tell him they have to stop seeing each other the way they have. the relief is immense, too, another cause for the last few tears he wipes away. ]
Thank you, [ he says again, before biting his lip and then tugging at kwang, wanting him up here with him and closer and in his arms. ]
It's beautiful. Thank you.
[ he wipes at his cheeks again, feeling silly, but the thought that he'll get to carry a piece of kwang and a piece of magic with him is overwhelming. ]
I'll use it well while we read, [ he nods with a smile, a soft, watery laugh. not a parting gift. kwang isn't about to tell him they have to stop seeing each other the way they have. the relief is immense, too, another cause for the last few tears he wipes away. ]
Thank you, [ he says again, before biting his lip and then tugging at kwang, wanting him up here with him and closer and in his arms. ]
[ Kwang might not have expected the tears, but he doesn't recoil from them, either. He isn't afraid or worried - he can tell that Junsu's a little overwhelmed, and t makes his heart twist, because did he really never get that many gifts that such a small thing has him reacting so strongly?
Maybe it isn't small for him, and Kwang is not going to diminish it, just follows right up to sit by Junsu's side when the other tugs at him, wrapping him in his arms and holding on tight. Kwang kisses Junsu's cheek, reaching up to wipe under his eyes with a thumb. ]
You're welcome. I like thinking that you have a little bit of my magic with you all the time. And if you need anything else, you can ask, okay? I might have a spell to help you.
[ He kisses Junsu's temple next. ]
I'm sorry if it was too much. Maybe I shouldn't have given you both at once? I got excited.
Maybe it isn't small for him, and Kwang is not going to diminish it, just follows right up to sit by Junsu's side when the other tugs at him, wrapping him in his arms and holding on tight. Kwang kisses Junsu's cheek, reaching up to wipe under his eyes with a thumb. ]
You're welcome. I like thinking that you have a little bit of my magic with you all the time. And if you need anything else, you can ask, okay? I might have a spell to help you.
[ He kisses Junsu's temple next. ]
I'm sorry if it was too much. Maybe I shouldn't have given you both at once? I got excited.
[ junsu giggles, louder than he'd intended to, quickly putting his hand near his mouth, fingers curling there. his cheeks flush, too, as he glances around, but not for long, gaze drawn back to kwang and the things he's saying. ]
That would've been... really nice. [ he looks at kwang's mouth now, explicitly. ] You're really skilled. Woudl've been hard to stay quiet.
That would've been... really nice. [ he looks at kwang's mouth now, explicitly. ] You're really skilled. Woudl've been hard to stay quiet.
[ junsu wants to burst a little. kwang offering his magic to him and thinking the same thing, that this way junsu always has a bit of it, it makes his chest hurt from how happy he is.
he shakes his head, dropping it against kwang's shoulder as his arms wind around him. ]
No, it's okay, I — It means a lot. More than I can say.
[ he sniffles, but the tears have eased now that kwang is close, holding onto him like this. ]
I'll always have it with me. Always.
[ which is basically like saying he'll always carry kwang with him. ]
he shakes his head, dropping it against kwang's shoulder as his arms wind around him. ]
No, it's okay, I — It means a lot. More than I can say.
[ he sniffles, but the tears have eased now that kwang is close, holding onto him like this. ]
I'll always have it with me. Always.
[ which is basically like saying he'll always carry kwang with him. ]
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